our not-so-fairy tale life

Hi. It's a NEW YEAR .. (and I have a new tire)

2012-01-20T14:47:00.000-08:00

Since it's 2012 ... I no longer have to title every single post "On... " It was getting on my nerves towards the end actually. But I started it early 2011 ... and had to finish. You understand.

So it's January. What's good to say about January? Yeah .. pretty much .. nothing.

Except I have a new tire. Oh. And a new rim.

Bothersome. Tires are just plain bothersome. I have issues with tires. Maybe I should say they have issues with me.

About two months ago I noticed one of my tires seemed low. Took it to BMW. Nope, it's fine. A few days later ... low again. Took it to where I bought the tires. Goodyear. Help. Tire keeps losing air. They fill it up. Says it "fine". A couple weeks later ... I SWEAR it's losing air. Back to Goodyear. They rotated tires. Put the annoying tire on the rear. Cool .. not as noticeable when it's low cause it doesn't pull hard to the left anymore.

A couple weeks later. Tire. Low. Am I imagining this? Maybe I'm looking for it. Take it back in. They fill up. Nope ... tire is fine. Right. I'm imaging. Again .. low. Take back in. This time they take the tire off and look for a leak. Nope .. no leak .. tire is fine.

Fast forward to two weeks ago. Hmm. Looks low. Let me actually check it. (btw .. I'm pretty much an expert at checking air pressure and filling tires with air now). 10lbs of pressure. Right. I'm NOT FREAKING INSANE. Drive it to Goodyear. They take tire off again. Nope .. no leak... tire is fine. "But we did put thicker air in it so you should be good to go".

Did he really just say "thicker air"? Thicker air? Is there a such thing?

NEXT DAY. Low. 5 lbs pressure. Fill it up and promptly drive BACK to Goodyear. We are now on a first name basis. "Look Bill .. this is the deal. Something is f'n wrong with my tire. PLEASE PLEASE .. just because I have a vagina do NOT tell me you will put more THICKER air in it and send me on my way"

They have me go to garage. "see these bubbles around the outside of the tire?" "yeah" "well .. looks like you drove on a flat tire ... and now the tire is ruined"
"OH NO .. this is NOT my fault. Had YOU fixed my tire yesterday .. I wouldn't have had the opportunity to drive on a flat"

The mystery was a cracked rim. That had been there for a couple of months (funny .. same time I started to have the low tire problem). Was already corroded. Enter new rim.. Enter new tire. Apparently they agreed that they were responsible for the ruined tire. They bought that for me. But a new rim is uber expensive, btw.

I left that day feeling pretty damn good. And safe. I was having nightmares of a popped tire and running off the road .. flipping my car .. ending up in a ditch... pinned ... and out of sight ... and then dying in my car .. all because of a tire. Could happen.

Figured peace of mind was worth that new rim.

WAIT .. THIS IS NOT THE END OF THE STORY. Next day .. got the low tire pressure light while I was driving. No way .. you GOTTA be kidding me. Pulled over. 10lbs of pressure. Same tire. I instantly thought the tire guys were playing a sick joke on me. RIGHT?. Because ... HOW COULD THIS BE?? It's a NEW tire AND a NEW rim. WTF>??

Filled it up. Drove to Goodyear. Again. It's a familiar route. My car could actually drive itself there. I walk in. They all stop and stare. I calmly said "my tire is low". Their reaction was the same. Actually .. speechless. Then they thought I was joking. Who is playing the joke on who here? We had a stare down. I wasn't joking.

Turns out .. air was leaking between tire and rim. "This happens .. but with new tires .. it's rare ... and a new tire AND a new rim .. even more rare". They fixed it .. sealed it ...

It was SIX tries boys .. but who's counting?

But I'm not confident. Every time I go to get in my car .. I check that tire. I kicked it yesterday. Not sure why .. but it made me feel better.

I'm tired. Get it?

On Christmas 2012

2012-01-14T10:10:00.000-08:00

It's mid January. High time I blogged about Dec. 25th.

Christmas.

It's the day Jesus was born.

And it's the day my kids get lotsa stuff.

The week after .. has got to be the garbage man's worst nightmare.

The highlights in photos ...

Merry Christmas Jackson .. you must be almost a teenager.

Jacob spent Christmas morning with us. Naturally. Cause they are engaged, you know.

Yup. This is what Eli wanted.

Moments from Christmas at Grandmom's ...

Some of my favorite gifts ....

Hayley got me a kindle ... and ... and .... AND ... this polar bear fur hat. Uh-huh. That's right ...

and last but NOT least .. my mom ... who might know me pretty well ... maybe .. a little ... gave me quite a large box of awesomeness.

Merry Christmas. Almost a month later. From the Wester fam. Who doesn't do Christmas letters anymore. Cause you can read my blog dammit .. if you REALLY want to know what's going on in my life.

On too much together time ...

2012-01-07T15:29:00.000-08:00

JACKSON + ELI + TOO MUCH TIME TOGETHER OVER CHRISTMAS BREAK =

Yeah .. that's Jackson's chest. That is an airsoft wound. Shot in the house. From his brother, with love.

On creative sledding ...

2012-01-05T14:32:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago...before Christmas, it snowed. A lot. I know .. imagine that .. in Colorado. I looked out my front window to see what the kids were doing ... and realized my brain does not think like a child's. I would never of come up with this ...

Yes. That's my recycle bin. Yes. That's Eli behind it on a regular sled. Yes. That was his celebratory dance. Yes. That was Jack his buddy that popped out of the can. Yes. That was UPS with a Christmas delivery. Just the entire show makes me giggle.

I love kids.

The snow was deep. Covered Hayley's wheels. Did you know snow this deep is hard to shovel? It is.

Happy Winter!

On New York, New York ...

2012-01-04T16:27:00.000-08:00

I went on a quick two day trip to New York.

Never been.

Might not ever go back.

But it was pretty damn cool during the month of December.

I couldn't get over the sheer volume of people. Like EVERYWHERE. And by observation .. it's clear that people rule over cars there. When volumes of people cross the street .. cars stop. Even if it's their turn. I can't imagine driving there. Riding in the taxi made me sweat.

Walked miles and miles. Saw cool stuff. The big Christmas tree in the Rockefeller center. Central Park. A Broadway show. Bright lights. Oh and a flash mob.

There was a lot to take in. I looked up a lot. Went to Macy's. Tiffany's. Hershey store. Ripley's Believe it or Not. The cool Apple store. FAO. I got a Swatch. How could I not?

The highlight though .. was probably the show. The Book of Mormon. My stomach hurt from laughing. I am Mormon. And I suppose as a Mormon I could have been offended. But I wasn't. Not in the least. Yes .. it was sacrilegious .. harsh language .. offensive ... but really ...we do give the outside world a lot of material to work with. It was written by the guys who made South Park. Enough said. But overall .. the message at the end of the show was a good one. I walked away entertained but uplifted as well. I would recommend a thousand times over .. if you can get tickets.

Thank you New York. The time spent was golden. Glad I went ... but it was also good to be back in a less noisy state.

World peace? No. Just want my own.

2012-01-04T15:47:00.000-08:00

I'm drowning. In life. Christmas came and went. I'll blog it eventually. Actually ... I'm thinking my January New Years goal is to catch up here.

But for now ... I hide in my closet. For some peace. And hope no one finds me ...

And that doesn't even work. My dog found me.

Carry on...

On crashing .. in touch ...

2011-12-27T18:27:00.000-08:00

I find it funny that Eli can crash anywhere.

But never ever without his Itouch. No. Never.

On 11-11-11 ... and surprises, Hayley style ...

2011-12-22T09:27:00.000-08:00

Yes .. 11-11-11 ... that was a few weeks ago.

Still. Trying. To. Catch. Up.

Dear Life,
Please slow down. Please?

Sometimes I wish I had the ability to make up all the stuff that goes on in my life. Alas .. it's all true. All of it.

Is this really my life? Is this really what I signed up for? Maybe I didn't sign up. Maybe I was just voluntold.

At least it isn't boring.

I hate boring.

This isn't boring either ...

Once upon a time, the date was 11-11-11. Nothing of significance happened for the majority of this day. I actually woke up that morning thinking something magical was going to happen. Like it would snow money or something. IDK.

Until .... around 10:45 pm I made the executive decision to take a sleeping pill. Lunesta to be exact. (this little pill is made of little tiny particles of awesomeness, btw). I had no idea this was NOT the best night to pass out. Cold.

Then .. around 11:33 pm ... just as Lunesta had a nice tight hold on me ...the bedroom door flings open ... all lights immediately flipped on... there's crying... there's some yelling. I sit straight up in bed. Where am I? What? Who? Where are my glasses? I can't see. Bright lights ... blurry. Lunesta? My entire body flops back onto my bed. Uncontrollable like. Why is my body failing me? WHAT is going ON?

Hayley ...a familiar body .. in my face. Close my eyes .. open again ... She is crying. I try to sit up again. Hayley? Who is hurt? Who is dying?

"MOM!!! At 11:11 tonight Jacob PROPOSED to me!!!! (enter a squeal)" ... I try to sit up again. Her hand is in my face. I still can't focus. But it's shiny.

This isn't happening. I try my best to muster "please please what is going on?" and "can we try again in the morning?"

I woke up the next day realizing that really happened. Not a dream. All the sudden I was in a haze. My daughter is ENGAGED? Very next thought ... s*** she is pregnant.

"NOOOO MOM! OMG .. why in the world would you THINK such a thing??"

"I dunno sweet child. Maybe because NO ONE gets engaged in HIGH SCHOOL unless they are"

More rolling of eyes ... and seriously mom's?

"This is how it goes mom. We started dating on 9-9-09. He gave me the engagement ring on 11-11-11 at 11:11pm (which now explains the late night burst into my room antic). Isn't that cool?"

"Indeed. Now let's chat more. When EXACTLY are you planning on tying this knot? Because if it's like next month .. or six months ... I kinda need to be a little prepared (meaning mentally .. so I don't end up in an institute in a fetal position, drooling)."

"Mom .. we are having a long engagement. Like when Jacob gets out of college. The EXACT date will be 6-6-16. Get it?"

ENTER THE EXAGGERATED EXHALE.

Yes ... dear child that doesn't have a fully developed brain. I get it. Relief.

No .. no one is pregnant. Yes... I know about this. No.. it's not a secret. No... it's not a rumor. I got this. All under control.

*Side note ...
Hayley ..."and why did you act like that last night mom? why are you so shocked? I mean, Jacob even went to dad and asked his permission"

Huh. Funny how no one mentioned this to me.

BUT I WILL SAY THIS ...

The ring is gorgeous. It really is. Unique. Like Hayley. Jacob did a great job picking it out. And such a responsible kid that he paid the thing off before he even gave it to her. I do have to respect that. He's a good kid.

Repeat .. it could be worse... it could be worse ...

On ...photos that don't suck ..

2011-12-12T19:13:00.000-08:00

So my sister Natalie (and Joe) took some family photos of the gang about a month ago (thank you sister). They turned out pretty stinkin' good. We were sans a few members but overall everyone was actually happy and semi-cooperative.

Staged family photos really aren't what the boys are in to. Getting them dressed in decent clothes was in and of itself a chore. Gone are the days where I can stuff them into a collared shirt or a sweater. Jackson still allowed me some say. Eli, not so much. And it's one of those fights where I surrendered. "wear what you want. but please smile. even if it's fake".

The weather was nice. The people were pretty. Nobody cried.

The BOYS

my fav shot of the day. all the boys doing their own thing.

pure love.

The boys with their dad ...

.... with the grandkids - missing Lily

My parents. Seriously. Look at these two. How did I get so lucky? I mean ... the GENES. Thank you mom, I will take your beauty. Pass it on down ...

Eli .. tapped out on the smiles ..

WAIT WAIT WAIT ....

those are all lovely and all .. but here's what really went down ...

I tried to behave. Honestly. But it was a photo shoot. A family one. You understand.

uh-huh .. that's me

ruining perfectly good pics ..

jazz hands ...compliments of Hayley ...

Not sure Hayley's problem here ...

skillz...

Thank you for joining us. That is all.

On the morning after ....

2011-12-03T20:27:00.001-08:00

I was pulling up to the gym the day AFTER Thanksgiving ...

There is a donut shop next to the gym (yeah .. I know - like sabotage) ...

I spotted a cop car directly in front of the said donut shop ...

I realized I could get the cop car AND the donut shop all in one pic ...

As I rolled down my window to prepare for the shot ...

The heavens opened right there for me and delivered the cops themselves ..in full uniform ... walking out ... with donuts in hand ... under the sign ... still in site of their car...

It was a cloudy day. I snapped and my flash went off. They both stopped. Looked up. Stared. I rolled by .. window still down .. laughing like a hyena ... and waved.

I only hope they were thinking "well s*** that's gonna be all over the internet tomorrow"

But really boys ... as if gorging on pumpkin pie wasn't enough the day before ....

On what Thanksgiving looks like ...

2011-11-27T19:32:00.001-08:00

whelp ... it looks a lot like this ...

... two days of cooking ... and 15 minutes of eating ... followed by cleaning up after everyone.

Sums it up.

Not to mention .. cooking and baking makes me want to scoop my eyeballs out with a spoon. Maybe it's the ADHD thing that kicks in when I have to follow a recipe. Especially if it's in a few different steps. I get anxious .. ready to be done with it ... and then that's when the screw up happens. Forgot a few eggs in one pie .. then had to scoop it all out of the pie - put it back in the bowl - add the eggs - put it back in the pie crust. Another pie I forgot to turn the oven down when I was supposed to. Whatever. I hate it and it hates me.

(guess which one I scooped out and then scooped back in?)

Oh yeah .. and to sabotage myself I decided to make 7 .. YES 7 pies. You know .. in case ... everyone ate too much .. and I needed more. Yeah ... I needed more like I need a pet gorilla. After two days afterwards of eating pie ... I decided to throw the last two pieces away in the trash. I did and felt good. Went to get milk out of the fridge and what-do-ya-know ... ANOTHER pie hidden in the back.

So to offset .. I decided to go to the gym Thursday morning. This would be Thanksgiving morning. Who does that? Figured I'd stroll in and have the place to myself. Why does nothing I do work out the way it's beautifully planned in my mind? Right. Just me and everyone else in Denver was there.

I had to WAIT in line for the stairs. Every single cardio equipment was being used. I thought I would go lift some weights while I waited for one to open .. yeah .. in my two inches of provided space.

Thanksgiving day sweat ..

Have to say I did have entertainment. With that many people ... so much to look at ... so much to observe...

Got my sweat on. But it didn't negate the 7,000 calories I consumed over this holiday period. Mostly in the form of a pie.

Damn pie. It's not my fault. Can't be. I was forced. By .. the forces that force you to eat pie. You know - THAT force.

I'm thankful for a few things this year ...

But mostly I'm thankful all the pies are finally gone.

On rulers and breaking them ... and maybe a lesson not really learned ..

2011-11-25T15:31:00.001-08:00

Yeah .. still behind. Nothing has changed in my life. Behind. It's a theme lately. I'm lame. But guess what? At least if I'm behind I can check out everyone's rear while I'm back here.

This incident happened a few weeks ago. Okay .. last month. TRYING TO CATCH UP.

my sweet baby .. notice the 'glow' around his innocence

This email came in from Eli's teacher. Actually .. I'm surprised it took this long into the school year. He's either learning .. or becoming better at not getting caught. But not this time.

Dear 8 lb baby Jesus ... really?? I guess the I'm sorry wasn't good enough. I understand the need to replace what was damaged. You know .. if it were a window ... I just won't ever be this kind of mom. (well .. okay .. mostly I won't ever get that chance .. cause I'm always on the OTHER side)

This was my response. It was said in the nicest ... friendliest way that I could muster. I did not get a response back. Hmm..

I sent the f'n fifty cents in. Reluctantly.

I play nice.

On white stuff .. that some call pretty ...

2011-11-25T15:15:00.001-08:00

My blog posts are kind of like my life lately. Out of order. Behind.

It snowed here. A few weeks ago. So many weeks ago that I can't remember when it happened. But it did. And it wasn't even the "first" one. But it was a heavy one. Kept falling. I like looking at it and all .. it can be beautiful. But not really when it gets in the way of my life. Life meaning ... driving.

Although .. it seems as if the "all weather" tires are a bit better than the "performance" tires I had last winter. (but I did get a new front and rear bumper last season. compliments of insurance)

*side note .. I have tire issues (among other issues). I've had this car for three years and I just put on my third set. My car was pulling hard to the right and I took it in to have the tires checked .. seems as if I have three bent rims. How can I NOT notice this? How can I bend three out of the four and NOT notice that I did that. Know how much rims are? Only $500 each. Yeah .. it's just gonna have to 'pull' for awhile.

So back to snow. It snowed .. a lot. I find it fascinating that the boys embrace it. Love it. Want to touch it. Play in it. Lick it.

They were running .. jumping .. and landing face first. Why don't girls even think to do this? Different brains. That's why.

The two did volunteer to shovel the drive. It was Jackson's idea. Eli joined in .. but then realized he wasn't getting paid so put his shovel down soon after.

Welcome winter (welcome used loosely) ... there will be lots more where this came from ...

On zombies and such ..

2011-11-22T14:15:00.001-08:00

What's up with the zombie craze lately? Yeah .. I don't get it. Because I'm 'old'? Possibly .. but weirdos speak as if they are real. Is this like the vampire craze when twilight came out?

I think it's retarded. Truly. Stop with the movies .. books .. survival guides ... gatherings ...

Because really - it just puts you in the "I have issues category".. besides making you sound like a freak.

The only time I can tolerate the madness is on Halloween night. When only one of my kids wanted to dress up .. and gather candy. Jackson.

Compliments of the big sister. And the big sister's boyfriend. And YouTube tutorials. Jackson and his friend Ryan rocked the zombie look. A couple of hours later .. I made Jackson wash his face. And not udder the word 'zombie' to me again.

On blue and yellow ...

2011-11-21T15:54:00.001-08:00

I really didn't think Ikea could get any better. But then I went with Becca.

Ikea + Becca + Alana = (less money in the bank account)

And if you want directions .. just drive on I-25. Watch carefully. Cause you might miss it.

On the real deal ...

2011-11-18T17:16:00.001-08:00

11-1-11

Was like any other day. Except I turned a year older.

38

It's been a good year for me. Some moments were happy, some sad .. a few surprises .. and a few disappointments coupled with pain. I am grateful for each moment. Because it means I am alive .. healthy ... and if it weren't for the unpleasant moments, I wouldn't be able to appreciate the spectacular ones ...

This birthday I am missing my youth. And not my 25 or even 30 year old body. That was great and all .. but this year in particular I am missing being a little girl. I miss being a single digit. Reminiscing with the other pea in my pod lately has reminded me of that little girl ..

Simple things ..

Like ...

Braided pig tail hair

Catching lightening bugs in the dark ... lighting up a jar .. with holes at the top

Laying in the summer grass looking up at the clouds making animal shapes ..

Holding a best friends hand ...

Telling secrets .. with hands cupped over the ears ..

Making forts ... and drawing rainbows and unicorns on paper as decorations ..

Licking the batter off the beaters ..

Giggling at a sleepover ... until mom yells .. then getting under the blankets and covering the mouth so it stifles the laugh making it even funnier...

Bubblegum flavored lip gloss ...

The innocence. I miss. But memories will sustain.

But this year ... at age 38 ... I plan on connecting with the other pea and re-creating some simple moments. As adults. It can be done. It will happen.

On November 1st of this year ... I walked into my house and this is what Hayley masterminded with the boys ..

Homemade cards (which makes my heart happy) ... a little cake ... a pumpkin roll .. flowers .. and a couple of gifts from Hayley. I have to say she's a thoughtful gift giver. The first gift was a digital photo frame to keep beside my bed .. and a Brookstone warmer. It looks like a kidney bean shaped bag filled with saline. You plug it in .. it gets warm. Mostly for my feet. Because they get so cold at night. Sometimes before bed I will sit on the bathroom counter, with my feet in a sink full of hot water. Like I said .. thoughtful .. she knows me.

A very awesome birthday ... a little wild .. and then a little mild. And honestly ... the mild one warmed my heart. A lot. I live for these guys ... they are my center.

With birthday love,

Poppy

On a Halloween Bday in Vegas ...

2011-11-13T15:13:00.001-08:00

So ... here's the deal. Why must I feel the need to put disclaimers on my own blog? That's crap. But I will anyway ... and NO I haven't gone off the deep end. I don't think. Well .. no .. I haven't. Yet.

Thought long and hard about even blogging this. But I'll do it anyway ... and brace for what shall come ..

#1 Don't get all offended if you read this post

#2 I understand the term what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas .. but I feel the need to report what happened in Vegas

#3 Halloween is for dressing up (I mean .. we walk around in bathing suits all summer .. right? right. justification works)

#4 When a good friend buys me a ticket for my birthday to the Fantasy Halloween Ball in Vegas.. well, I accept gifts graciously

Alycia. Bless her heart. Bought us tickets for the biggest Halloween party in the US. We decided to go as school girls. Because who doesn't like a school girl? A couple of half naked middle age women trying to still pretend they are 25. What the heck .. it's Halloween.

Vegas isn't ALL trash. In fact, I went to a couple of Cirque shows while there. O .. which is mostly in water - I had to keep shutting my mouth. Freaking amazing. And another was Love ... set to Beatles music. Not a big Beatles fan but wow - this show was beyond entertaining. If you've never been to one of these shows .. break your neck to see it. Worth the effort.

Stayed in a nice hotel. Ate some nice food. Got some sun at nice pools. Learned how to play blackjack. Earned a few dollars (black jack .. there was no stripping involved). One of the BEST times I've had in a long time. This city is no joke. I did not want to sleep .. because I was afraid I was going to miss out on something.

So the little (only about 7,000 people) costume party we attended .. was ... without a doubt .. one of the most interesting events I've EVER attended. Eye opening .. or rather eye popping experience. We had a blast. Got pics with some of our fav's. Danced .. observed .. laughed ... stared ... ogled ...gasped ... observed some more ...left with our minds overwhelmed and certainly overstimulated.

Guy on stilts .. kept following us around. Plenty of these outrageous contact lenses were seen all night ...

This was personally my favorite costume of the night. I don't even know what it was. But it was soft. Notice the pink paws. Funny side note .. these "hats" were super popular ALL over Vegas ..seems all the girls sported them. I did not bring one home as a souvenir. Bummed.

This makes me giggle every time I see it. Just because.

Another fav. She had those shells PAINTED on. Body paint. But it was crazy thick. Her tail was pretty sweet too..

SO this girl. Interesting. What IS she? I don't know .. but this was one of the ones I couldn't stop watching all night.

OKAY .. THIS MADE THE ENTIRE NIGHT WORTH IT!!

We caught a glimpse of THIS (these) right before we left. Yeah .. uh huh. That's what we said too. They were REAL .. well .. not REAL REAL but it was not part of any costume. She was with an older man. Dressed in scrubs. As a plastic surgeon. Yeah .. clever .. super clever.

This reminds me ... of... the bless-ed event...

So that's most of my Vegas story .. in pictures. It was BEYOND a blast. I didn't stop smiling .. the entire time. Is it something I would normally do? No. And I probably won't ever go to a costume party like this again .. but I'm SO glad I did go. I saw things I will NEVER IN MY LIFE see again. For the experience alone ..

Memories made. Oh yeah they were.

The End

On secrets of a strong core ...

2011-11-06T08:34:00.000-08:00

These are my 9 year old's abs

Here's what he can do ...

Yesterday Jackson comes in to my room and says "uh mom ... do you know what Eli is doing?"
me "do I want to know what Eli is doing?"
concerned brother "well .. he's hanging on the ledge under Jesus doing pull ups. Wrong"

You too can have abs like this ...

By following a strict diet of ..

Chips
Soda
Peanut Butter
Candy
Ice cream
Pizza

As much as you want, actually. Throw some Xbox in the mix.

Oh .. and a few pull ups under Jesus.

On basketball .. losing .. and whatnot ..

2011-11-03T06:17:00.000-07:00

I made Eli play basketball again this year. That's right .. MADE him. I coerced him into playing .. because I wanted him to. Big .. big ... big mistake. I forced him .. and he pushed back. But really - for the past two seasons they've been undefeated. Coach wanted to take it to the next level and had them all play JAM ball.

When I say pushed back. That really means .. every practice and game was complete HELL for me. Screaming .. kicking ... yelling ... every single freaking week. Was it worth it? HELL no. They lost every single game and when he was on the court he looked like he'd never seen a basketball before in his life .. much less how to use it.

So here's Eli ... in his cool Cougars uniform.

This blur is him in a game. Notice how there is NO ONE around him? I'm not kidding .. lost.

Needless to say I will NEVER make him play basketball again. He WANTS to play hockey. Gonna leave it at that. Let him play what he WANTS ... because making him play what I WANT didn't really pan out.

Here's what I look like playing basketball. Thought I would include the pics .. mostly cause it's my blog and I can. I have a point .. and that is .. I don't look any better than he does playing basketball...

But I do LOVE the game. Maybe I'll have better luck with Jackson. I just signed him up but didn't tell him. I don't think I'm a quick learner. To be continued ...

On the Red Rocks 5K

2011-11-01T06:33:00.000-07:00

My mom asked me to run this race with her and a co-worker. Kaiser sponsors the race every year in support of Lung Cancer awareness,

I was going to do it. I wasn't going to do it. Changed my mind several times. Wasn't in it mentally ... and didn't feel like training. But really - when have I ever gotten a chance to do a race with my mom? This was her first participation in a race. I couldn't NOT do it .. even if I didn't train.

Sometimes I wish the competitive side of me would take a chill pill.

I dressed for it that morning and kept repeating the words "you are only doing this for fun Alana" For fun. Who does a race for FUN? Apparently I don't.

We get there and I see 2,000 people with tennis shoes and bibs. Brain did the auto focus from "fun" to "kick it"

Glad my mom had her co-worker there. Because they said "go" and I did. It was probably the most beautiful race I have run. Red Rocks is gorgeous. It was all on pavement .. the last mile 1/2 uphill. Ending on the stairs. Not a couple of stairs but a million. Okay .. not a million either but my thighs said that's true.

Went ahead and gave it my all. Was feeling pretty good that I stayed up with a girl that was clearly a runner. How'd I know she was a runner? Well .. she had the "look" .. plus when I was staring at her ass from behind she had the outline of depends on under her TIGHT running pants. I'm guessing so she didn't have to stop to pee? Stored that idea in the memory bank. For something I will never do.

Rainbow striped socks this time. 13th out of 390 in my division. I'll take it.

she's so cute huh?

My mom finished. Was super proud of her. Got to meet her at the finish line since I ditched her at the start.

What made it all worth it? Marshmallows dipped in chocolate offered after the race. Uh-huh. BONUS!

On fall break ...

2011-10-31T14:04:00.000-07:00

Whelp ... this is what the boys did every single day on fall break.

And no one got hurt.

Success.

On pro games ... and good seats ...

2011-10-25T20:34:00.000-07:00

So I went to the opening Bronco's game. I did. It was cool. Really cool. And fun. Lots of orange. It rained. Which was fine because we were in the club level with a lounge to hang out inside. Does it sound like I'm bragging? Cause I am. Cause it was pretty damn kick ass.

We lost that game. I don't like Orton... I do like Tebow. Mostly because Orton needs to fix his teeth (he's got the money .. I mean - what's the hold up?) and Tebow is stinkin' adorable. Oh yeah .. and I don't think Orton is a great player. I'd insert maybe he's a good playa' ... but have you seen him? Right. So that didn't fit. Anyways .. have you heard the news? Tebow starts now. Mostly because I had a chat with the owner. That's usually how it goes down. A woman has to speak and then all the sudden everyone listens. Especially when she whispers. And .. now .. I'm ... dreaming ... None of that happened but it sounded good. Except for the part about Tebow starting. True.

A few weeks later I went to the opening Avalanche game. At the Pepsi Center...

Starting with Forsberg's jersey retirement. That was pretty freaking amazing too. Mostly because of the seats. Again. Sat in the section that Forsberg walked down. He was inches from me. Did I mention we had great seats? Because I'm bragging. Again. The game was pretty sweet too. But we lost. Seems to be a common theme when I attend games. But it's not me. I swear.

Didn't make it any less fun. After all .. I ate those little donuts they have at the Pepsi Center games. Have you had these little amazing treats? It was a party in my mouth... All senses were engaged at this game .. the eyes .. the ears ... the mouth .. the hands ...

That's all I have to say about those games. U-H-M-A-Z-I-N-G time was had...

Now for the flippin' NBA to get it together. Come on guys .. just AGREE already. I want my season to start. My favorite sport. And I have to wait. I wanted to go to the opening game .. for my birthday. That's clearly NOT going to happen. I want to see my Nuggets.. I want Ty to give me his shoes.

Reality.. I'll be waiting.

Anxiously.

On locker #151 ..

2011-10-22T18:18:00.000-07:00

I have routines. I stick to them. Because it's comforting. Like an old blanket. I get up. I know what the day is going to bring. I do it. I go to bed. Sleep on the same side of the bed. Same side of the body.

Routine.

I do it until it wears out it's welcome. Then I have to break free for awhile. Get away. Reset. Back at it again.

One routine is the gym routine. Same time. Same parking spot. Same bench in the locker room. Same locker. Same shower.

Routine. Check in. Say hello to desk person. Pass the trainers area. Say hello to trainers. Walk downstairs to the locker room. Sit my bag on "my" bench. Open bottom locker. Turn around. Back into the locker. And sit in the locker. To finish up the morning texts. Feet up on the bench. In "my" space.

A few weeks ago... I was doing my "routine" and the club manager comes in. Stops to stare at me. Says these words "you are out of control. give me your phone. I am taking a picture of you. for you. I have to."

And she does..

Out of control? Hardly. This IS my control.

So good morning .. from locker #151 ..

On being an example ..

2011-10-21T06:38:00.000-07:00

I didn't say a good example. Just an example. Period. I love my phone. I may or may not fall asleep with it in my hand.

Do you see my baby? Yes .. he is sleeping with his Itouch. Yes .. son ... THAT'S how it's done.

On forgetting and a field trip ...

2011-10-19T19:13:00.000-07:00

Looking through pics on the Iphone and realized I forgot to blog about a field trip. Mostly I'll blog because I went on it. Not that it would have been any LESS of an interesting field trip had I not gone .. but clearly if I didn't go there would be no reason to blog about it. Right? That's funny .. think about that. If I didn't go there wouldn't be anything to blog BECAUSE it would go something like this ..

"hey son .. how was the field trip? was it cool? did you see cool stuff? did you love it? what did you do? who was in your group? tell me all about it. and don't leave out any details. especially if a girl tried to kiss you on the bus"

son .. "it was cool." The end.

And that would be a pretty amazingly boring blog.

So I went with Jackson and his 6th grade class on a field trip. And it was cool. But I have more to say than that.

We went (on a bus ..uh-huh) to the Cave of the Winds in Colorado Springs. Pretty sweet field trip.

There was a ropes course ... panning for gold ... views for miles .. and a cave tour at the end.

Parents could go on the ropes course if they wanted. I wanted. Had to get harnessed and it felt like a baby was trying to crawl back into my womb .. but I guess that was called "secure" or something. Secure ... as in one false move and the harness would slice my body into two symmetrical pieces. Observation on the kid's faces did NOT indicate they were in any crotch pain. So thank you mr. guide-harness-hooker for .. hooking me up.

Jackson did great on this. Hopping from one platform to another. Climbing. Laughing. He loved.

Between the harness and looking down ... and easing across planks ... I wasn't laughing.

I was in charge of Jackson and two of his buddies. I made sure to tell them that the goal for the day was that "no one was going to die. not on my watch. got it?" Not sure why they seemed nervous. But they were good. Like really good for me.

The cave tour was super cool. Jackson learned a ton. Listened intently to the guide.

this look of adoration - says "sure I'd love to pose for a picture in front of all my buddies .. " not cool mom. not cool.

I learned a few things too. I'll share ..

1- I don't ever in my lifetime want to be a teacher
2 - I do not like a kid named Austin. He was annoying. And when he opened his mouth .. I had this overwhelming urge to stuff rocks in it.
3 - I do like a girl named Miki. She had on some sweet glow in the dark braces (which enhanced the lights out in a pitch black cave experiment). AND she told me I was pretty. So she scooped the #1 favorite 6th grader spot.
4 - I do not like heights. I already knew this .. but the lesson was reinforced.
5 - Apparently I don't like tight spaces under ground either. Nope. Don't. Get me the hell out is what my body was screaming.

It was a fun day with my boy. He didn't want me touching him. But whatever. Made me wanna rub his head every chance I got.

Glad I went. I sacrificed a few things to go. Worth it? Absolutely. Made a memory.

And that's priceless.

On a little love .. and a little smile ..

2011-10-17T14:23:00.000-07:00

Hayley ... here's how much she loves me ... woke to this treat one morning last week ...

Now that's not just love but PURE love...

And a few mornings later ...

I love having kids. They are so much damn fun. Frustrating ..lots of work .. stressful ... but really .. worth every second.

They are indeed, my happy place...

On uses of nasal strips ..

2011-10-15T18:00:00.000-07:00

Me "hey boys .. uh ... why do we have on neon green nasal strips? we both sick at the same time or huh?"

Eli "mooooom (this is said in an exaggerated 'you're really on my nerves for asking a stupid question' tone) ... they help us sleep better"

Right. Lunesta does this for me. But perhaps all I needed was a nasal strip..

On making connections ...

2011-10-12T19:30:00.000-07:00

Do you believe that certain people come into your life at certain times for a certain reason?

Cause I do.

Get to know someone new. Talk to them ...discover what makes them tick.

And in doing so .. you may just learn some things about yourself in the process.

I know I did ...

And that's all I have to say about that...

On not letting go ...

2011-10-05T20:35:00.000-07:00

Facebook conversation between Hayley and myself ...

Funny .. ha ha ... I know. I love when she humors me. Plays with me. Jokes with me. Laughs with me. She's got a sense of humor too. Which I love. I think the most important thing I have taught her is to lighten up and have fun in life.

Yes .. that convo was fun.

But the other day as I'm driving alone in my car... it hit me. That it's not really funny. No .. it's not. This is her last year. She's really going to leave me. Away. The very thought took my breath away. I turned up the radio to drown out my own thoughts .. it didn't work. "It's Gonna Be a Good Life" started playing. Game over ... I started to leak. And leak. And leak. Memories flooded. Has it really been 17 years? Is this stage of mothering almost over for me? Did I do a good job? Did I prepare her for the harsh world out there? Did I give her too many choices? Make too many choices for her? Did I yell enough .. or not enough? Did I really teach her all she needs to know? I want her to laugh. I want her to be happy. I want her to look back at her childhood and know I loved her .. with all my heart .. and then some. Will she know? Will she know that I'd give my life for her? Will she know I cared with all my soul? Will she know that the moment she took her first breath she was mine?

I can't go a single day without having interaction with my girl... my love. I'm afraid maybe I've made her too much apart of my life. I do rely on her. For laughs .. for advise .. I tell her my fears .. she tells me hers. They say that's a mistake .. never ever make your teenager your friend. But damn it she IS my friend. As much as I'd like to look someone in the eye and say .. "oh no .. I'd NEVER be friends with my girl ... ONLY a mother" .. can't do it. And for some reason ... the relationship I have with her feels right. It works for us.

I'm going to miss her. A lot. A whole lot. I know this is how it's supposed to be. You give birth .. raise your child .. and then they leave. I just never imagined it was going to be this hard to let go.

I look at her sometimes .. and I still see a little girl. In pigtails .. with a high pitched voice ... that said "I love you mom" whenever she got in trouble. Or would roll her eyes and say "whate'v" as she puts her hand up.

The strong willed .. stubborn ... full of life little girl has turned into an independent ...self assured ...young adult. Ready to start her life. Without me. Without me. She loves hard. She lives full.

I need to let go ... to let her spread her wings and fly... to fully become the amazing adult I know she will be.

I have a year left. If I haven't taught her everything she needs to leave me ... I haven't done my part. What can I add in a year? How to love more? How to laugh more? How to have more joy?

No. I think the teaching is done. It's time to just relax and enjoy who she has become. I love this girl with my entire being. She is apart of me. My blood runs through her veins. Forever is our bond. Distance can not break it. I will not allow that.

Hayley Elizabeth ... you are squeezing my heart. Which is fine .. because it lets me know I'm still alive.

One of your favorite songs comes to mind ... mine too. We used to listen to it together .. singing off key .. but off key together.

Wear your soul on your sleeve Hayley ... I hope for you ... I pray for you ... I dream for you ...

"I hope you never lose your sense of wonder ...

may you never take one single breath for granted ...

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean ...

whenever one door closes I hope one more opens ...

Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance ..

never settle for the path of least resistance ...

loving might be a mistake, but it's worth making ..

when you come close to selling out, reconsider ...

AND WHEN YOU GET THE CHOICE TO SIT IT OUT OR DANCE ... I HOPE YOU DANCE.."

I hope all those things for you and more Hayley ...

When the time comes ... go ... be free ... the world will be a better place when you get there ...

But for now ... I'm going to go wash my face ... and be happy for the adventure you are about to take ...

On a valuable education ...

2011-10-01T16:20:00.000-07:00

"Guess what I learned at school today??!!" Eli screams as he runs through the door ....

"HOW TO FINALLY READ??"

Nope ...

It was this ...

Good job son! You make mama proud ....

On what I NEED ...

2011-09-22T11:40:00.000-07:00

And her name is ASHLEY...

I can't live without this girl. I just can't. Being best friends doesn't even quite come close to the relationship we share. Sisters? Maybe .. but closer. Soul mates? But I don't sleep with her. You only sleep with soul mates right?

She's my girl.. always and forever...

She makes me smile. Makes me laugh. Makes me forget my worries. Overlooks my faults (of which there are many). Never judges me .. even when she should. I just love the heck out of this girl. If you knew her .. like I do .. you'd fall in love with her too.

With Ashley .. it's quite interesting. It's like looking in the mirror. Except seeing features that are the same .. but different. Maybe what I'm saying is that we look alike .. but she's a lot more stunning .. so saying it's like looking in the mirror makes me feel good. Yeah .. I'm going with that. Twins .. except how come I got the ugly genes?

This trip was broken up a little like the last one. But BONUS .. it was TWICE this year that I've gone to see her. And twice isn't anything to sneeze at. I'm just grateful is all I'm saying. Bonus .. extra credit ... a steal ...

We did our usual .. beach, pool, tan ... and late night giggles.... talking .. talking... laughing ... talking. It's what we do. Predictable? Yes .. and I love it.

Unfortunately freaking Irene messed up some of the sun time. But we made the best out of it. DIDN'T WE ASHLEY?? They were called hurricane parties. Every night.

And looking through the hundreds of pics we took over the course of several days ... I do believe there aren't many I will publicly post. As I would rather not humiliate myself.

Memories ...

Night #1 .. finally made it .. white sundress ... rough hair .. makeup washed off... but she still loves me ...

Day #2 ... only beach day ... thank you Irene. (thank you really means f*$# you)

Night #2 .. or #3 ... can't remember ... does it matter? What does matter is the freaking awesome twins outfit we came up with ... easily entertained... we are still 16... inside...

Night #3 or .. #4 ... um ... again ...

Next series is just a story that unfolded right in front of our eyes ....

I look behind Ashley and there's this guy taking off his pants ... I thought it was underwear .. nope ..

just a WHITE speedo. REALLY? He's proud. Super proud. He walks by us .. and falls behind the wifey to give us the "wuz up" eyebrow. Wife looks back and glares at US like WE did something. Check your man's swim attire sweetie ...

and it gets better .. he walks right in front of us to LAY IN THE SAND ... yes .. LAYING THERE .. obviously .. again .. super proud of himself I guess.

Like the way Ashley and I pretend pose for the cam so we can get a shot of Mr. Macho without it looking too damn suspicious?

Wow. That is all. (wow said not in a good way fyi)

Night #? I don't know ... it's all just nights ...

those are my hands on the left .. I mean the right .. left ... right - I don't know ...

funny.. blurry .. like the night ...

Car trip ... to ... somewhere ... like Target .. or Ross ...

A sunny day at the pool ...

until this rolls in ...

It may have been cloudy and rainy on the outside in Florida .. but really - the sun was shining INSIDE for us!!

This was a sign .. an upside down rainbow ... that told us God was happy for us too!

Okay okay .. and I can't help myself .. gotta post ONE humiliating one .. you know .. for posterity's sake ..

It's just simply called ... J-O-Y!

Thanks to this man .. for making most the pictures and a good time possible ...

Pete's da MAN!

(I kinda wanted in the couple's picture too ..)

Till next time Ashley ... I'm slumping till we meet again!

On Two Weddings ... (and not a funeral)

2011-09-19T14:07:00.000-07:00

So .. like I said ... I went to Florida for another dual visit. Another wedding (yes .. that's right. thank you. WILL EVERYONE KEEP GETTING MARRIED IN FLORIDA PLEASE? and thank you)

Sisters .. my cousins.

First up was Shannon. This girl is brilliant. Truly she is. Her mind is amazing. I wished I had just a piece of the intelligence that she has ...never mind ... I'd still do retarded things. I love her. Brilliant but super humble.

There isn't much not to like about her wedding either. I mean .. her main color was PINK and the theme for the reception was candy. Really? Uh-huh... yes it was ... I was in a sugar coma by the time I left...

Here's the gorgeous bride and the lucky guy who scored the prize ...

Next .. her older sister Brenna. Brenna is pretty awesome. She's a calm soul. Someone who makes you feel good .. just by being in her presence. And her eyes .. you should see. Blue .. gorgeous... you get lost in them. I pretty much know how she got that man of hers. He looked in her eyes. Done deal.

How cool is this picture? Enchanted is the word my mind thinks of when I see this ....

Thank you girls .. for thinking of me when you planned. Thank you for allowing me to be apart of your special day...

More importantly ....I get to continue on this journey of life with you.

Family is Forever ...

On the journey of a rental car ...

2011-09-11T09:26:00.000-07:00

I took my annual trip to Florida (which really turned out to be my SEMI-annual trip this year) late in August. It was another two-fold trip. Another wedding (DARN THE BAD LUCK) ... and of course, WHILE I'm there .. my visit to Patrick. Scalleywag. NIKITA. Ashley. Yes .. my best friend.

For the first part of my trip ... I flew into Orlando. For my cousin's wedding. Actually ... cousinS ... sister's ... getting married in the same week.

I'll blog about those two visits later.

For now ...join me in the story about a rental car. My rental car. Rented from the Orlando airport ... from a certain company that rhymes with Shifty. Picked it up on a Monday ... wedding was on a Tuesday ... and after the wedding I was planning on booking it to Ashley's ... three hours away.... where I would return the car. No prob.

"Would you like to purchase any coverage today Ms. Wester"

"why would I do that?"

"Okay .. how about the road side assistance for an extra $10"

"why would I do that?"

On my way. Cute little red Nissan something. Versa I think. You know .. the economy. Cheapest rental you can get.

I left the wedding ... in a little white sundress ... with accents of red. Flip flops. Need for panties? Not so much ... TMI? Not really ... comes into play later.

Me and my little Nissan Versa hit the road. ASHLEY HERE I COME!!!

Then I hit a wall. Of rain. Actually .. it was more like a Monsoon. The little wipers couldn't keep up. But I kept going. I got some Ash to get to.

Rain slows a bit. I've got my directions. Trying to figure out what toll road I get on next (seems all roads in Florida require you to pay to drive on them). Found my exit. Horseshoe exit. Rain has slowed. To more of a sprinkle.

APPARENTLY the Versa is NOT a BMW. Noted ... a little too late.

Took the curve a little too quickly ... just a touch. With tires the size of donuts ... on a wet road ... tried to turn ... the steering wheel was turning. But the car wasn't. Here come the plastic markers on the side of the road. Went through two of those ... down an embankment. A steep one. Sideways. Waiting for this tiny box to flip. It didn't ... but me and the Versa continued down the slope... sideways... until we finally stopped .. facing the opposite way of traffic.

It's that moment ... after you stop. That your brain can assess the situation. Okay Alana. We are okay. Where's my phone? First thought. You understand. Radio is blaring. Turn that off. Crackers I were snacking on .. are all over that car. BUT okay Alana .. we are okay. (and found the phone .. yes. good.)

Until I look up. Out the window. Sort of. Cause I couldn't see much. For one .. mud COVERED the car. Up to the windows. So. Much. Mud. Which is actually a great thing .. because looking back, that soft stuff kept me from flipping.

Another observation... .apparently no one saw me go off the road? Cause no one stopped. Then I looked up and realized you couldn't even see my car from the road I was just on. Nice. Nice. Nice.

This requires me to actually get out of the car .. wasn't sure what else to do. I get out .. and step in the mud .. in my flipflops. And again assess. That's when the thought of me declining any coverage crept into my thoughts. Whoopsie.

I groaned out loud. Did a quick walk around to see what damage I had done. Couldn't see much more than mud. The hood had a couple of dings from hitting the markers. Hmmm ... looking up. How the HELL was I going to get out of this situation? I started walking up the hill. A car finally sees me. Pulls over to look down at the car and he shakes his head. Says only a tow truck is going to get me out of that. I asked him to be positive for me .. and try to direct my wheels to see if I could get out and drive up the hill at an angle. Another woman stops. So I get in the car and do some pretty miraculous moves .. back and forth ... sideways ... turning ... a small concrete pad was a nice surprise. I was able to get out ... thanked them profusely and started on my way again.

I could laugh now. Looking down at myself. A bit of a mess. And I've added an extra hour to my trip. As I get onto the interstate traffic stops. Rush hour. Awesome. But at that point I'd take rush hour to being in a ditch any day. Rain is still coming down. The car dings at me. Huh? Look down at the dash and there's a yellow exclamation mark highlighted. Probably not good. I keep driving .. at 5 miles an hour. Traffic lets up. Feeling funny ... feeling like maybe it's a tire... feeling like maybe I should pull over.

I do. Get out and assess. A tire it is. Completely FLAT. I get back in the car and contemplate what to do. It's a flat tire ... at least I'm not stuck in a ditch. Seeing the rental agreement on the seat beside me I decide to give the road side assistance # a ring. "oh .. yes .. hmm... seems to me you declined the service .. so can't help ya. have a great day!"

Hmm... I just sit for awhile. Looking around. Realizing I don't have one freaking clue where I am. Look in rear view mirror and cops lights are flashing. Help has arrived. I had to climb out the passengers seat as he's approaching cause I didn't wanna get hit by a car. I'm muddy ... and standing there in the rain looking at my car with him ... I'm also wet. In my cute little white sundress. Now you get the TMI? Keep smiling Alana ...

"wow ... looks like you have a flat tire. and why is your car so muddy?"

Glazed over look... shrug ... "I don't know officer"

"okay ... I'm calling the Road Buddies to come help put the donut on your car"

"officer .. it already has FOUR donuts on the car"

come on .. that was funny.

I was already wet. Already muddy. Looking at the car thinking it might be a good idea to run it through the car wash before I turn it in. Looking at clumps of grass sticking out of the hubcaps and bumpers. Figured it would be a good idea to get rid of those clumps. You know .. while I wait. Did the walk around taking care of business. Officer makes small talk as I take care of business. Finally asks me why I'm doing that and wouldn't I be more comfortable getting back in the car? Of course ..

Road Rangers show up. Dang .. they were QUICK on that change of a tire. Flat tire in the trunk ... now I just had to find a tire place to get a new one. Cute little officer escorted me there. We became pretty good buddies in that 45 minutes. At Firestone where they said they could get me right in .. and the tire might just require a patch. Cool. So a short .. get you right in .. wait ... turned into a two hour wait. Gave me time to wash myself up in the oh-so-clean bathroom. And snack on my crackers I had cleaned up from the car. And more time to assess the car. It actually didn't look so bad. The rain washed a lot of the dirt off. Looked at it from behind... there was a nice dent on the side of the bumper in the back. But I figure you had to be really looking to see it.

"So ma'am .. you'll have to buy a new tire"

"uh - why? was it like a nail .. a piece of metal?"

"really? what did you do .. because the entire sidewall is ripped on that tire"

"um .. oh. whoopsie.. NO clue how that happened"

Purchased a new tire. Prayed the little car on the rest of the two hour journey. Please no more dings at me ... please no more warning lights. Just. Get. Me. There. Made it to Ashley .. a LOT later than what I had expected.

I dropped that car off around 11 at night .. muddy (except for an exceptionally ONE shiny tire). Decided it wasn't necessary to tell them about the evening I had. Need to know basis ..I figure.

No one said a word to me. I guess at two weeks out I'm pretty safe not to get a phone call from the rental company.

SO THIS WAS A LONG STORY.

And really .. the moral of it would be ...

NEVER EVER EVER EVER BUY A USED RENTAL CAR. You never know what that damn thing has been through ...

On understanding faults...

2011-09-08T16:16:00.000-07:00

So I was hanging out in the kitchen the other day. Chatting about music ... artists... and Brittney Spears name came up. Chatted a little about this girl. Then Hayley stops and in ALL seriousness says to me ..

"You know mom ... I wish everyone would just leave Brittney alone. I mean .. who HASN'T dropped their baby? A couple of times ... "

Pause. I was speechless. Then I started laughing. And couldn't stop.

"It's not really funny mom"

On Warrior Dash 2011

2011-09-07T18:11:00.000-07:00

Year #2 of this race. Year #2 was a little easier. Mostly because I've already completed the 3 hour race from hell last month. This was a baby race compared to that monster.

Looks like I've found a new race running partner. Maija and I decided to sign up for this one after we did the Tough Mudder.

Of course .. we had to dress up again. What fun is it when you don't? So tu-tu's it was. It reminded me of the 10K I did in Denver a couple of years ago. The tu-tu girl ... always just out of my reach. Couldn't catch her. So this race .. I pretended I was her. And somewhere, some girl was behind me ... and I was just out of reach. Right. I can dream..

Anyway ... to the race.

A 5K with several obstacles along the way. It was actually a SUPER fun race. I enjoyed myself along the way. Still talked to myself. But also chatted with others along the way. I found myself saying "faster .. come on girl .. go faster". As I had two specific goals for this race. 1 - to beat my time from last year and 2 - to beat Sean who ran it too.

Goal #1 ... check
Goal #2.....check

Some of the obstacles were - going through hanging tires ... jumping under and over walls ... running uphill .. going through the mud pit (or swim through it more accurately) ... going through spider webs of ropes ... cargo net walls .. planks ... with running in between them all. The most challenging part was the mud pit for me this time. I got mud in my eye .. thought I was going to lose a contact ... trying to keep my tutu from falling off (it's amazing how heavy a tu-tu can be after you crawl through mud)... just a few distractions.

I felt pretty good throughout this race. Pretty psyched as I didn't train like I should have. I came in a minute after the 22 year old stud that ran with us. I'm okay with that.

Next ...

On a few good nights...

2011-09-05T10:22:00.000-07:00

This picture of Eli makes me laugh every single time I look at it.

This was right before school started and he had sleepovers for three days in a row. I walked out of my room to go downstairs and he's COMPLETELY passed out. Right on the stairs. At about 7pm.

THAT'S what you call exhausted ...

On the first day of school ...

2011-08-19T07:46:00.001-07:00

And ...

That's as exciting as that day got...

Jackson = 6th grade

Eli = 4th grade

On Jman turning 12 ...

2011-08-13T13:06:00.000-07:00

Jackson Cam Wester is now officially .... 12 years old.

Funny .. no matter how many Bday's Jackson has, he never seems to get older in my eyes. This isn't the case with Hayley and Eli for some reason. Jackson stands still in time for me. I wonder why that is...

Maybe because he's so innocent. Because his heart is so big. Maybe it's because he's still childlike inside and out. I love this about Jackson. He's such a giving child. If someone has to take the rap for some wrong done in the house .. he steps up. Not because he actually did it .. but just to make peace for everyone else.

He is well liked by everyone. Teachers adore him. He's just not a high maintenance kid.

For example .. on the last day of school this year I went in a few hours before school got out. To give the teachers a thank you gift and hug them goodbye. I walk into Eli's classroom and his teacher immediately catches my eye.

"Ohh .. Alana ... thank you. You ARE here to pick Eli up right?" me .. "uh - no. You still have two hours left that he's still yours. Suck it up."

I then walk into Jackson's classroom. Here's the stark difference between the two boys. His teacher comes up to me ... "oh .. I'm so sorry to say goodbye to Jackson. He's such a great kid. I'm really gonna miss him".

Exactly.

He's the first one to finish his homework. The first one to finish his chores. The first one to actually do what I ask him to do at home. The first one to say thank you.

I have to say ... even though he is BY FAR my easiest child .. he also has his moments. He's very OCD which drives me crazy. He will obsess about some minor detail until he gets physically ill over the worry. Or he will constantly be in my ear reminding me about something that's worrying him. If he loses something ... oh. my. gosh ... we will ALL suffer.

Recently he's also learned how to annoy his brother. What buttons to push. And he does this all silently. Pushes the button and then quietly walks away. We have all just caught on to this .. and it's pretty annoying. Busted. It's hard for him to pull it off now. When Eli starts screaming we all immediately say "JACKSON!"

His birthday was fun for him this year ... he got to take a few friends to Water World. It was a full day of fun in the sun. It was nice that they can all be turned loose in the park to do their thing and check in with me every couple of hours. Age can be freeing.

So Happy Birthday Jackson Cam!

Glad you are apart of our family. You complete us.

On family that's not family ...

2011-08-11T06:57:00.000-07:00

So, ironic... because that's how my life is. But the day after Hayley got home from her SD adventures I received a surreal phone call.

"Hi Poppy?" Um ... NO ONE but family from Alabama calls me that.

He proceeded and I had to listen VERY carefully as to understand each word he was saying. I am from the south but maybe have been gone for so long that the accent is hard for me to decipher.

This was my cousin (hi .. nice to meet you too) and he had called to tell me that my real father had passed away two days ago.

Silence. The last time I had ANY contact with my real father was when I was 5. Let's do some simple math .. over 30 years ago.

Okay .. digest. A million things are going through my head as he is saying this to me. My real father? Who? Wait .. he died? Wait .. he was how old? Whoa .. I care why? Why are they calling me?

"Poppy .. he requested that his body be cremated ... but we can't do that without your permission because you are the next of kin"

Wait .. what? NEXT of kin? Seriously .. no contact in 30 years .. but I am the next of kin? How is this even possible? You have to have my PERMISSION to do this? I am not comprehending all that's going on.

Was given another phone number to call .... long story short ... I had to receive a fax ... have it notarized and send it back.

You would think someone asked me to do this MONUMENTAL task .. I couldn't for the life of me get it done. Hit a wall. It's a FAX for crying out loud. Speaking of crying .. I cried for days over this. For what? Mostly I think because I actually had to DO something for someone who NEVER did anything for me.

It took me five days to get that fax done. Once it was sent ... I had a wave of relief. They asked if I would like his ashes sent to me. Um ... one guess as to what my answer was.

So that's behind me now.

Moving on with life. That was a bump .. I tripped ... I looked back at it ... and now I skip along my merry way again.

Till the next bump ...

On Peanut Butter and Jelly ...

2011-08-09T07:45:00.000-07:00

So I have a friend. Well ... I have lots of friends. But I am speaking of one in particular. Her name is Alycia. She's pretty bad ass if you don't know her. If you don't know her .. you should get to know her. It's worth your time.

I met Alycia when we were neighbors in Okinawa. YES! Proof that the military did do one thing right for my family. Neighbors .. bonded pretty much by another retarded neighbor who made our lives HELL. That's what happens though when you live on top of each other on a tiny tiny island.

So anyway .. we've always kept in touch. But about 6 months we really connected again. When I say REALLY connected.. that's what I mean. We have discovered we have TONS of things in common. Why it took this long to discover this ... I have no clue. But I'm a firm believer that people come into your life at a certain time for a certain reason. This is one of those cases. I needed this girl. RIGHT WHEN I NEEDED HER.

Not sure how it started but we started calling each other PB&J. Cause it stuck (OMG .. GET IT??) ... I think my texts went from 10,000 a month to 20,000 ... she's got an Iphone too and the emoticons happen to make my day.

She makes me smile .. she makes me laugh.

She actually flew out to visit me last month. CAN YOU SAY EPIC!! We got lost .. we got found .. we found places ...we danced in a club we didn't belong in (as we didn't have hundreds of piercings or boots that came up our thighs) ... we got on the news ... among other things that made it quite memorable. It was a blast and we plan on doing it all over again next month. If you've ever heard the song TGIF ... it's kind of a theme song of ours.

Every day is Friday.

I don't think there's been a day since May that we haven't kept in constant contact. And that's okay with me ...

I LIVE you girl ... you are a "Sure Thing"

Memories ...

Till we meet again .. you know ... like in September!

On lost and found ...

2011-07-26T12:43:00.000-07:00

This story may or may not have a happy ending. I should look at the whole thing with a glass half full perspective.

But, not me. I'll look at it as if you're tipping the glass over looking for half a drop and it aint there.

Hayley has a biological father. That isn't Sean. Sean legally adopted her when she was 5 years old.

But this biological father contacted her. Out of the blue. Way out of the blue. He has been out of the picture since Hayley was three. Nothing. As in NO CONTACT what-so-ever. I'm trying to set this up for what it is. But when I say none. I mean no card .. no phone call .. no letter ... no money ... nada. He even gave up parental rights so that Sean could adopt her.

So he contacts her about 6 weeks ago. To my shock and awe she is beyond thrilled. Beyond. I have yet to comprehend. Probably because my brain is fully developed. And hers .. just isn't.

For kicks ..I will call him the Sperm Donor .. aka "SD". This works out beautifully because his real initials are "SD"... thank you for setting that up nicely.

At first it started off as Facebook messages. Then progressed to emails .. which progressed to chatting on yahoo messenger .. which then leads to texting. Texting. Non-stop ... day and night.
After 17 years why? Why now? I only can see this through my eyes .. and here's what it looks like in the raw...

He gave her up. Does he have the right to get to know her as her "father"? He has moved on with his life. She is a stranger to him. He doesn't know her. I raised her for 14 years without him. I went through all the shitty .. hard ... difficult years. Where was he? But now he just gets to waltz in and proceed to call himself "dad"? The nerve. Of it all.

Not only that .. he's showering her with gifts and money. What teenager wouldn't love ANYONE who did that?

Bless her little heart. I try to understand .. to be supportive. For her. She wants desperately to have something of her very own.

He actually flew her and Jacob out to Virginia where he lives last week for two weeks. Kinda having a hard time with this. I wanna yell and scream and throw a two year old tantrum. Not sure where that would get me .. but it sure would feel good to do it.

So .. she's there now. With SD. Having the time of her life. Meeting all kinds of new people. Oh .. you know .. like a grandmother. Who abandoned her as well for 14 years. I'm not bitter. Nah ... She's been shopping .. to Kings Dominion .. to museums ... go karting .. eating out ... and on her way to the beach today. To stay at a beach house that he owns. In Myrtle Beach. Gonna rent wave runners ... and frolic on the beach. I'm sure holding hands .. like a father and daughter who haven't seen each other WOULD.

She's having SO MUCH FUN that it seems to be really hard for her to text or call me. I understand.

NO I DO NOT UNDERSTAND!!!!

Here are some of my fears .. even if I have no reason for the fears .. they are still very real. In my head.

#1 She's going to like him so much (and again .. who wouldn't with all the showering of gifts and money) that she will want to go THERE to live. Away from me .. and choose him.

#2 She's going to come home and be angry at ME for whatever he fed her brain there (let me also throw this out there ... since day one I have NEVER ever said one negative thing about him to her. I have never given her a reason to dislike him as a person. I have always been open with her .. she's had access to pictures .. and videos and memories that I have saved through out the years).

#3 She will be mad at me for not showering her with money and gifts when she comes home.

(another side note .. when she was planning the trip and I started complaining that it was a two week trip instead of a one week trip she was quick to tell me the tickets are non-refundable. And - I will use quotes here ... "if you want me home earlier then YOU are going to have to pay to change the tickets. After all mom .. you have not spent ONE dime on this trip"... I will just chalk this up to her underdeveloped brain. The end.)

#4 He will hurt her again. He will abandon her for the second time. Then I will have to pick up the pieces just like I did years ago ... undo more damage and hurt.

#5 Or that she will like him better than me. That's it. Period.

I have worked SO HARD to develop a great relationship with this girl. We are friends .. we are like sisters ... she's honest and open with me and I'm the same with her ... we have an incredible bond. And bottom line .. ALL of that has been threatened. It was so hard to come to this point and time with this girl.. we've been through hell and back. This is just so unfair .. that there's an opportunity for this stranger to enter our lives and mess it all up.

Lesson learned in all of this. Poor choices when you are younger can have lasting effects.

I'll hold on to hope that this WILL have a happy ending. I should look at the glass as an almost full glass. That there are just more people to love Hayley in this world.

I'll try to hold on to that hope ... I'm hanging. But my hands and my heart are slipping ...

On a message...

2011-07-15T12:24:00.000-07:00

She looks so sweet ... so innocent ... so ....so .. so...

Did I say Hayley is pretty non-dramatic these days? I absolutely HATE it when my children make a liar out of me.

A couple of weeks ago she called me in a panic. Crying. Hysterical. I hate when she does this because every SINGLE time I think the house is on fire. Literally. And every SINGLE time, the house isn't on fire.

This time the panic was she had gotten her senior year schedule. The panic? Not a class she had requested. And 5 math courses in a row. News flash .. she hates math. A few other classes that made me have to cover my mouth from laughing so she couldn't hear me over the phone.

As any good mother would do I told her to stop her nonsense .. eat some chocolate and I'll talk to the counselor and fix the schedule. The end. No big deal.

Then my phone started dinging with email's coming in. From some public on line high school. Saying Hayley had registered and they need to walk me through the enrollment process.

HUH??

Why when she loses her mind MUST she react in such an extreme manner? I texted her to tell her to cut it out .. she's going to school .. and the schedule will all work out in the end.

Silence..

Two hours later ... text from her "when are you going to be home mom? .. I have a surprise for you"

Remember her surprises are NEVER EVER EVER good. She may as well say "Hurry home ..I did something you aren't going to like"

I now pick up the pace to get home prepared for any damage control I may be doing in the hours to come...

I walk in and this is what I find ...

I actually think that COVA (whatever the hell that is) paid her to do this. She sounds like a freaking walking advertisement.

I am still finding these notes in unsuspecting places... there wasn't an area in the house that she didn't cover.

Now the question is ... do I "think" about it?

On the Tough Mudder ...

2011-07-10T14:42:00.000-07:00

I'm having a hard time blogging this latest race I've completed. Maybe because I just can't come up with just the right words to describe how freaking hard it was.

Near death experience maybe?

My friend Maija-Liisa (who I was friend's with in high school .. who also ended up in Castle Rock) asked if I wanted to run with her and a few trainers from her gym. "SURE"! Sure? Sure.

So I joined the 24 Hour Fitness team. In a race .... well .. not really a race. More like a death march.

10 miles. 23 obstacles. 5,500-12,000 feet climb in altitude.

My biggest fear in agreeing to be on this team was that I would be the one lagging behind that they all had to wait for. Yup, for the majority of the race .. that fear was a reality. Poor team mates.

Suffice it to say that this race was the hardest thing (next to labor and delivery) physically I've ever done in my life.

We completed it as a team ... right to the very finish. A total of 3 hours.

The obstacles ranged from crawling in the mud ... jumping over hay bales in a muddy snowy field with people spraying you with firemen hoses ... wading across water that was 36 degrees ... sliding down an icy hill on my ass - feeling as if thousands of needles were penetrating my skin ....scaling 12 foot walls ... going through tunnels full of water ... cargo nets ... huge containers of green water filled with ice-cubes ...mud trenches ... electric shock ... not to mention running straight up a mountain in between all these obstacles.

There's NO way I could have done that race without a team for help and support. Gunner was always waiting to help me pass whatever obstacle was next. Lifesaver.

Sometimes I think races like this test not only your physical abilities but your mental stamina as well. There were definite times during this race that I had to talk myself through whatever my body didn't want to complete.

Probably the worst part of the entire race was how horribly cold I got. It was pretty soon into the race that water was introduced. Cold ... bitter ... 36 degree water. Not only did it take my breath away ... it felt like it was squeezing my lungs so hard that I couldn't breathe. Even after being out of the water and running again .. I found it hard to warm my body temperature back up. I don't think I can recall ever running a race and feeling my entire body shivering uncontrollably. My feet were so numb it felt as if I were running on huge boulders. There was a point where Gunner had to find me one of those shiny aluminum blankets to wrap around me.

That's when the mind has to take over. When the body is failing miserably ... the mind has to take control. To tell the body that it indeed CAN move forward.

I had to keep fear in check. What I wanted most was just to be warm ... and JUST when my body would feel the sun's warmth I would turn a corner to find yet another damn water obstacle. Brutal. Towards the end there were the monkey bars .... a lot of them. But under the monkey bars was .. of course .. more water, in case you fell. Awesome. That alone was enough to fight my way over those things. I was NOT going to get wet if I didn't have to.

My favorite obstacle was actually the electric shock at the very end. When I first read this online I totally didn't believe they would REALLY have something that could shock you. Yeah .. pretty much this race was a no joke .. you might die race ... and they were NOT kidding ... electric shock? Indeed. One hit my back and shocked me right through my chest. You're body just instantly seizes. It brought guys to their knees. BUT ... I knew just beyond those wires was the finish line. I've never been so ready to be shocked... (yes .. it hurt like a mother)

The race pushed my physical endurance ... my mind pushed my body ... pure exhaustion ..

I'm so glad I did it ... mostly to prove to myself that I could.

But really not sure I'll be signing up willingly next year to do it again. Maybe it's like labor ... time dulls the memory ...

On Hayley's birthday ...

2011-07-05T16:53:00.000-07:00

Another year ... already. As of June 19th Hayley is 17 years old. Seriously? I just want to throw it out there that I had her when I was 5.

This past year has been a pretty mellow one with Hayley. Not too much drama or hair pulling or even screaming. I haven't thrown a paint brush at her or taken away the door to her room. Seems as if the tough teenage years are slowly getting easier. That, or my tolerance level has risen.

Either way ... I'm okay with how things are rolling at the moment. She's a good kid. With mostly good intentions. Except for when she leaves all her dirty dishes in the living room. Pretty sure that is intentional.

I'm bracing though. Maybe because her Junior year was so easy ... she's been saving to unleash her senior year. Maybe. Maybe not. I have learned as a parent to a teenager that nothing is certain. I can expect nothing ... so ... I won't.

She is still dating Jacob. Her best friend. I also wonder how things will be different this upcoming year for that too. He graduated. She's still in school. Again .. I'll just wait and see and have my shoulder waiting. Just in case.

In the past month a major event has occurred for her. I haven't figured out how and if or when I blog about that. But I'm sure I will. I won't be able to help myself.... that happens a lot.

This year her birthday fell exactly on Father's Day. She really really (I said really) doesn't like that. Mostly because she has to share. And I'm pretty sure she doesn't like sharing. So there was a balance on how to celebrate this year. And sure enough .. it was ON her birthday .. in conjunction WITH Father's Day.

We made it up to her though. She ended up getting her license and a car the week before her birthday. Really ... I do believe that is THE most bad-ass present EVER. Not to mention she got EXACTLY what she wanted. A lime green VW beetle. It fits her. She loves it. She cried. Sean had to take her on that adventure of car buying. It's a good thing he did ... she probably still wouldn't have one if left up to me.

I mean .. that was a hard day for me. The day she got in HER car and drove away. Away from me. Meaning I wasn't in the car. Not there to yell "WATCH WHAT YOU ARE DOING FOOL"... or taking the wheel from her (note - this is NEVER EVER a good idea) so she won't make any mistakes. Enter trust. Ouch.

But she's doing great. I guess. It's not like I'm there so I don't really know. But haven't gotten any phone calls from the cops or anything ... so that's a good sign.

I'm happy for her. My girl. In her green car. Wearing her matching green sunglasses.

And I'm happy with her. She's in a good place. My happy, calm, chilled 17 year old.

Happy Day Hayley!!

On a barf. Kinda ...

2011-06-27T11:05:00.001-07:00

I've GOT to get back to blogging. The summer has me busy. I haven't even been blog stalking which is really out of character for me. But whatev's .. no more excuses.

We are hanging in my room .. Eli's watching some tv. Then he says "wow .. eww .. I just had a mini barf"

me "a WHAT?"

Eli "a mini barf mom"

me "again .. what are you talking about?"

Eli "mom (said in the 'duh' tone) ... you know .. like when you throw up a little in your mouth... it's called a mini barf"

Oh. Good to know. I'm glad I have boys... to keep me up to date on .. boy things.

On summer blood ...

2011-06-19T08:35:00.001-07:00

That's right. That's blood. That's Jackson. That was Eli who punched Jackson in the face to cause that said blood.

It's summer. School's out. There's been a lot of this blood. Why must my boys make blood come out of each other's body's? It's going to be a long summer. L-O-N-G.

I do love my sweet blood filled children .. but really ... why must school be out for TWO entire months during my favorite time of the year?

Or at least ... why can't we STILL go to school just TWO days out of the week during summer? I mean ... they may forget all that knowledge they learned through out the year. Yes .. that's what I'm worried about. Yes. Just TWO days .. come on. At this point I'd take ONE day. Okay, just ONE. I wish all the important rule making was up to me. I'd make life easy. Well .. mine anyway.

I try to stay at the pool with them. It's easier. Mostly because they know if they draw blood in the pool .. everyone has to get out and that's just embarrassing.

At any rate .. it's summer. School's out ... and so's the blood.

On Grandmom's zoo

2011-06-09T11:45:00.000-07:00

My mom invited us to go to the Cheyenne Mountain zoo last week. She works in Colorado Springs and discovered this cool little zoo.

My sister and my nephews have been but we haven't.

My mom kept talking it up .. and you know when someone talks something up too much it can really be a let down. So was trying to not get my hopes up too high. For one .. I don't do well at zoos ... the focus thing and all.

So we drove down there together and the first exhibit you get to are the Giraffes. SO FREAKING COOL! You are on this platform .. like a deck .. all around them. You can feed them .. and pet them ..close enough to look at their super long eyelashes.

For not being able to focus .. I didn't really wanna leave them. Did you know that a giraffe's tongue can reach into it's ears? Pretty much .. that means it's really long. And purple (apparently so it doesn't get sunburned). I even learned stuff. Tall, gentle .. so cool.

Then we moved on and finished the rest. It's on a mountain (yes .. hence the name) and the weather was perfect ... it wasn't too big .. but all the animals were super close to you. We also got to pet a Wallaby. Know what that is? I didn't either .. a really small kangaroo.

All Jackson wanted was a "Naked Mole" t-shirt and he got his wish.

Oh my other fav exhibit were the monkey's and gorillas. I just can't get enough of those guys. So human .. but not. Fascinating. The lions and tigers .. bears and hippos .. don't really interest me but those monkey's .. I want one.

The kids had a great time. All three. Even Hayley. It was fun being with my mom. We actually had to do a surprise attack on the boys. I didn't tell them we were going because it would have turned into three days of "I don't WANNA go" whining. So I just let her pull up .. drive to gather them from friend's house and threw them in the car. Captive. It's the way to go from now on.

(later that night Jackson was telling his friends that "my grandmom's zoo is BEAST" I'm guessin beast means good .. and love that it's 'grandmom's zoo')

On the way home was a little longer than the trip back. Hayley was in the back with the two boys. She made them play the "quiet" game for money. Then Jackson and Eli started the inevitable fighting. I did get a pretty sweet video out of it though ..

Yes .. that's a plastic grocery bag coming out of his mouth. Boys...

Overall .. good day and we found a new favorite zoo ..

On the HOA

2011-06-08T16:47:00.000-07:00

Yup ... AGAIN. I could write a book on just my experiences with the HOA.

I'm actually starting to get super irritated with it.

Because I got three notices within the past month.

#1 ...

This one is an exterior maintenance notice. Specifically I AM STORING ITEMS ON THE EXTERIOR OF MY HOUSE. What would that be? ... ready ... ready ... a SKATEBOARD RAMP. That's right ... on the sidewalk - the boys were playing on their skateboard ramp. Right. Apparently it's a violation. To play. Seriously .. it's not like it's NAILED to the sidewalk.

Annoying.

#2 ...

This one is a fencing notice. The lock on the gate had to be repaired. Small repair .. a block of wood was placed there to fix the lock. Apparently it's not the required "Beachwood" custom stain. We have 30 days to stain this tiny piece of wood. WHO THE HELL WALKS THAT CLOSELY TO MY FENCE TO EVEN NOTICE THIS??

and #3 ...

This is another basketball hoop violation. It looks like they are getting SERIOUS about this one. Because we are about to be fined $25 for not removing those sandbags from on top of the base of the basketball hoop. W.O.W.

Really? Really? ... glad they are on to this. I'd hate to be the reason this neighborhood turns into the ghetto. I mean ... perhaps they should be MORE concerned with the 5 houses just on MY street that are in foreclosure. How about you focus on those are aren't even PAYING their HOA fees. Pretty sure if they stopped paying on their mortgage .. then they aren't paying your fees either. Or weeding. Or mowing their grass. Or even watering their grass.

REALLY???

On EVEN MORE marshmallows ...

2011-06-06T17:11:00.000-07:00

Kraft is brilliant ...

Here's why....

YET AGAIN ....

this never gets old ...

Toasted Coconut has become my FAVORITE marshmallow. Notice .. the bag is empty ...

turn computer sideways to read this.... so basically it's a flat marshmallow made JUST for s'mores.

I think I'm gonna buy stock in this company.

On Eli turning 9 ...

2011-06-01T17:03:00.000-07:00

May 20 2011

Dear Eli,

I like you. A lot. Actually you hold a special little place in my heart. Everyone else only sees the little demon .. the tough kid ... the rough boy. I look at you and see your sensitive side. Again .. because you only show me. You are the only child left that will lay in the bed and snuggle with me. You actually like to be with me. You still OFFER to give me a kiss. Hugs are common... and still natural. Thank you for staying my baby for a little bit longer.

You don't like school. You do like recess. You don't like sitting still. You do like being outside. You do like steak. You don't like enchiladas. You do like hockey. You do not like baseball ("please please mom do NOT EVER put me in a boring sport like baseball"). You do like skinny jeans (that doesn't mean I like you liking them). You don't like long sleeve shirts. You do like the color pink (and I like that you like pink). You don't like ankle socks. You do like your brother. You don't like your sister. You don't like toys anymore. You do like air soft guns. You don't like bikes. You do like skateboards. You do not like to write. You do like to text.

I like that I know your like's ... and you're dislike's. Someday I may not know all those details of your life .. but for now, I do. And for now, I love that.

Stay true to yourself Eli. Stay like you are now... strong, confident, daring, sensitive yet rough. I love every inch of you. I love every year you've been my son. I look forward to making many more memories with you kiddo.

Happy #9. Don't grow too fast. And don't forget how to kiss me.

Love,

mom

Eli chose to take his friends to the skate park for his bday this year. He wanted a big cookie from the mall again (thank you son ..). All he wanted was a "bowl action sniper rifle" air soft gun. "you mean BOLT ACTION Eli?" "yeah .. that's what I said ... BOWL ACTION". Uncle Josh hooked him up with that and he was BEYOND thrilled.

It was a pretty simple birthday.

I loved that after he got the gun and was on the ground looking through the scope pretending to cause mass destruction ... he would randomly come over and kiss my forehead and say "I love it mom" ... THAT was priceless.

About a day after his birthday I got a call from the school. One of Eli's friends was found dead in his house. I was devastated. Even more devastated was how he died (here). They were not telling the children at school .. letting parents decide how to break the news. I agonized over how to tell Eli about his friend. No clue how he would react .. I sat him down and talked to him later that night. The first thing he said was "wow mom .. that's really sad. Mostly because Liam was one of those happy kids. You know .. like he's always smiling when there's nothing really to smile about". I loved that that's how he remembered his friend. Then his next comment was "yeah .. and something else about Liam. When everyone else thought I was a bully .. Liam never did. He always just liked me no matter what". Kids have an amazing sense of character.

This was a stark reminder that life can be short. I hugged Eli a little tighter that night. After he went to bed that night I sat in his room and watched him sleep. And said a silent prayer of gratitude for my little boy. Life is precious.

This May ... this birthday .... I'm a little extra grateful to be Eli's mom.

On the stair master ...

2011-05-26T10:22:00.000-07:00

So I'm a gym rat .. or gym freak. Whatever you want to call me. But it takes a lot for me to try new things. I had to get a personal trainer just to get comfortable lifting weights.

I am also a creature of habit. You can find me at the gym at the same time every day. You will also find my car parked in the same parking spot every day. I also have to run on the same treadmill every time I go.

But the other day as I walk down the stairs to go onto the floor I couldn't believe my eyes. My treadmill was taken. Can you believe that? The nerve. Didn't they know it was reserved for ... ME??

So this completely threw me off. I almost walked out. I mean .. what else was I supposed to do?Mind you .. there were probably 20 other (not the same kind though) treadmills available.

Directly behind "my" treadmill that was being occupied (wrongly) were the stair masters. Never done these before. Never even gave them a second look. But I had to do something so I jumped on the one that was DIRECTLY behind "my" treadmill. I also like "my" treadmill because it's under the tv that always has Sports Center on. I like my highlights. So at least on this stair climber I was still in front of "my" tv.

I get on this beast and immediately like it. I felt like a giant. I could see EVERYTHING in the gym. Cool.

But then I pushed start. And started to climb. And started to get nervous. Cause it was hard. I looked around and there were a few other people on these things and they didn't seem like they were struggling. But I won't lie... I was.

After about 10 minutes of heavy breathing wondering if I could continue .. a girl gets on one right beside me. Then about 2 minutes later another one on the other side of me. Normally .. this wouldn't be a problem. But at that moment it was a HUGE problem. That being there was NO way I could get off that machine until BOTH of them did.

I'm not competitive or anything. No way. Nope.

So .. I had to pretend that doing those stairs was a breeze. No biggie. I do it everyday. Got my music on... just climbing. BUT WAS DYING INSIDE. I seriously did think I was going to have a heart attack. But I was gonna be DAMNED if I were getting off BEFORE they did.

Every minute I was silently sending death rays to both of them. Wishing .. pleading ... silent begging them .. to STOP.

They did after about 30 minutes each. Which required ME to go for about 45. I even had to suffer through the both of them being ms. clean and wiping their machines down.

45 minutes. Of hell. That equaled 200 flights of stairs. TWO FREAKING HUNDRED FLIGHTS!

But I "beat" them .. and really that's all that mattered.

Word of warning .. do NOT take my treadmill. Next time there will be some hair pulling involved.

On Mother's Day...

2011-05-21T18:20:00.000-07:00

Kinda just like last year...

Kinda the same faces ...

Kinda like this tradition ...

Kinda the people I like most ...

And here's some love I got from my own kids on this day ...

Jackson's letter (my FAVORITE is how he started off wanting to list 85 things he loves about me .. why 85 was the magic number .. not sure. BUT then the more he thinks about it - the more he realizes he was aiming a bit high and lowered that number to 10)

Eli's card he brought home from school. "Alana's Poem"... sweet.

And Hayley ... she got me a new Iphone case. My other one wore out (yeah .. I have NO CLUE how that happened either). My girl knows me ... and the perfect gift to get me ...

Mother's Day 2011 was a success ....

On mermaids ....

2011-05-10T19:35:00.000-07:00

My sister Jessica, her husband Adam and their baby Lily came to town for a visit the week after Easter.

I L-O-V-E-D getting to know Lily a bit better. She has almost as much energy as I do. It was fun. She so reminded me of Hayley at 2. So fun to kiss all over her .. when she would let me.

We actually had the family Easter dinner on her birthday .. Tues. April 26th. Gonna pat myself on the back here ... I made the cupcakes (from scratch .. that's right ... scratch). Not a baker or a decorator and they turned out pretty stinkin' good.

Lily had a great bday ... she did a surprise "OH!" for every single present she opened. Then she would gasp in pure joy. I love love love little kids for this. Every action is so genuine.

Later that week ... Jessica, Adam, Lily, Natalie, Enoch, Travis, my mom and I all went to the Aquarium. It was different for me going without my kids ... so I tried on my sister's kids for size. It worked. Lily is just about like me ... not much for stopping and spending too long on each fish.

me and Nati ...

and my awesome nephew Enoch with his classic big smile ...

They have a new show right now at the Denver Aquarium. Mermaids. I was actually fascinated by this. They would dive down .. tails and all ... "talk" to us through the glass and acted out this little scene. I would hold my breath while they were down ... not even realizing it. I was so focused on their talent of holding their breath I heard nothing they were saying. It captivated me. But not enough to get my picture made with them afterwards.

Travis ... my other nephew giving me some cheese ...

My very favorite part is the very end (NO .. not the very VERY end where you go home .. although that's my second fav) when you can pet and feed

the manoray's. So cool.. waiting for them to swim by so you can reach in ... gliding past your fingertips. They feel like silk to me. Not in a slimy way but a super cool - soft way. Enoch and I did this for the LONGEST time. He thought about feeding them but couldn't quite keep the fish in his fingers for their mouths to take it from him. Can't say I blame him.

Sad to see Jess and her little family leave. It was fun while it lasted. I want Lily back. Cause I like her. And she likes me back.

On Easter ...

2011-05-10T14:20:00.000-07:00

I am SERIOUSLY behind on this blog. That's what happens when you ... live.

So basically this'll just be a couple of pictures. Because really ... how exciting IS Easter? Get up .. do baskets .. go to church .. eat some food ... the end.

In fact, here are each of my children in their most excited state on Easter morning after discovering their baskets (or in Hayley's case .. IT discovered her .. via the mother)

Happy (freaking exciting) Easter 2011

On a bracelet for a cause...

2011-05-09T17:13:00.000-07:00

Boys are so fun.

Mine came home wearing these new silicone 'cause' bracelets a few weeks ago.

It's their fav.

In fact, Eli panics when he can't find his.

I am beyond shocked that I haven't received a phone call from school saying they are both suspended.

Probably because they have given up hope.

In me. Not my boys.

Yes .. that's correct. Pink bracelets that say "I (heart) boobies" and on the other side "stay a breast".

Did I mention we are all about the cause?

On Usama Bin Laden...

2011-05-03T10:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday ... was a day in history. It should be recorded... as it was announced that Usama Bin Laden was killed. After 10 years.

It was interesting ... I had several emotions. At first .. shocked. Although, I'm not sure why as it was really inevitable that we as bad-ass Americans were going to find him. Really? I'd say we have a good history in the area of revenge. Pearl Harbor?

Then the emotion turned to indifference. Why do I care if they killed him? Does it matter to me? To my family? Is it okay to be happy that someone died?

My attitude quickly changed as I read an email Sean sent to me this morning.

Alana,

...

I think a lot of people will cheer, but I'm not sure how deeply rooted their feelings are. I know that as an American you just wouldn't like the man and could easily muster the ability to say that you're happy he's dead. I suppose I see it from a much more personal perspective.

Did I specifically hunt him? No, but me and my men worked to dismantle his organization and followers. I've seen quite a few good men die in that effort. I've seen a lot of people whose lives and way of life was radically altered because of him. Because of him and his followers, my life is forever changed. So, am I happy that he's dead? Yes, but I won't party in the street the way many will. I will savor it in a quieter way. I will think about the good men who paid the ultimate price in order to bring him to justice. I will think about you and the kids and how grateful I am to be home with you.

Love,

Sean

This pretty much brought me to a different view on Bin Laden and his life and death. Sean is right ... this man has had an effect on many lives. In many different ways.

Exactly. Even mine. Even my own family. Have we sacrificed as a family to see that this man was brought to justice? Absolutely. Did my husband die doing it? No. But a piece of my family died while he was fighting against the terror this man masterminded. Hours .. days .. years ... that we can't ever recover as a family. There is re-building in the middle east ... but trust me, there's re-building that's had to happen in our own American homes as well.

So yes, we all have different perspectives and thoughts about this man. Today ... I've reflected upon my own.

And it comes down to a feeling of gratitude. For those who have served ... and continue to serve for our freedom. For our rights as Americans ... to feel free to celebrate this day. Or not to celebrate this day. Because we have a choice.

And for those heroes left behind to raise children and fight the good fight ... alone.

Raise your glasses ... it is a good day.

On super glue ...

2011-04-24T19:05:00.000-07:00

Hayley landed a pretty sweet babysitting gig. When I say pretty sweet ... what I really mean is PRETTY FREAKING AWESOME!

Two girls. Huge house. A maid. A housekeeper and cook. A dog trainer. A tutor.

And $25 an hour. Yeah ... that's right.

I want that job.

So anyway ... for her first time watching them she wanted to do something cool for them. She decided to make these "I Spy" bags.

Well ... the way we operate is under pressure. Last minute pressure. The bags were supposed to be sewn. But ran out of time to sew them. I had the brilliant idea that we should use super glue instead. And we were in a hurry. A big hurry ... cause she couldn't be late.

I didn't realize until we were driving just how much super glue I got on my fingers. Like a lot. And every time I would try to wipe them off ... I would get more fuzzies on them. And for whatever reason ... as I was driving it became hilarious. Like pull over on the side of the road hilarious. Tears running down our cheeks funny. And then the more we tried to figure out why it was so funny .. the more we couldn't stop laughing.

She suggested I go in and meet who she was babysitting for. I looked down at my fingers and realized that I was going to have to shake her hand. No way. And then it was funny all over again.

Hayley tried to take pictures ... didn't do the fingers justice really.

Thank you Hayley ... for an awesome memory. Which .. by the way .. that memory on my fingers lasted for days ...

On hockey ...

2011-04-24T18:44:00.000-07:00

Eli wanted to play hockey again this year. It's such a great sport for him. He can run into things, be rough and mean .. and it's all legal. He loves this game. And I love that he loves it.

What I have learned through-out this hockey journey is this...

Hockey gear and sweaty boys smell really bad.

On hair drying ...

2011-04-20T15:17:00.000-07:00

So Eli loves to brush my hair (I love it too) ... the other night I get out of the shower and get the blow dryer out. He runs up ...

"mom .. can I please dry your hair?"

(who says no to that?)

I tried to take pics while he was doing it. Seriously .. he was so happy. It was cracking me up ... he was singing as he was working "la la la la la la.."

Grainy Iphone pics .. it was as good as it got.

I know he's not always gonna wanna jump up on my bed with me and do this. So wanted to capture the moment while it was there ...

On prom 2011 ...

2011-04-17T08:56:00.000-07:00

Last night was Douglas Co High School's prom night.

Hayley has been psyched about this for MONTH'S. She found the perfect dress ... in her favorite color. Convinced Jacob to wear pink to match...yeah - she's that good. She walked down the stairs and I couldn't hardly control myself. I seriously felt like I was going to prom. Beautiful. It was one of those proud moments for me as a mom. She was beaming .. I was beaming and BOY did Jacob ever beam when he walked in to see her. He kept saying "wow .. wow ... " He would hug her and then hug her again. When she turned around backwards for me to take a picture I could hear him sigh. He's in love. And that's okay ... cause it's with my daughter .. and he's an AWESOME boy.

Hayley had a similar reaction when she saw him for the first time. "HOT DAMN" I think were her exact words. Who doesn't love a boy in PINK?? They went with a big group to eat .. then to prom in Denver at Infinity Park and then back down with the group for after prom. She clearly didn't sleep ... I called her at 5am and they were chowin' down on McDonald's. So glad this day was a fairy tale day for my girl. Who doesn't deserve good memories like this? A few pics ...

I love this next one - Jacob's expression as he's hugging my girl ...

PROM 2011. SUCCESS.

On Kraft ...

2011-04-14T17:52:00.001-07:00

This could quite possibly be my FAVORITE company. Think they take a stand for gay, lesbian, anti-war, pro-abortion causes? Just saying .. some people won't buy products from companies who support certain causes. NOT ME! I'll shop in Target ... because I like the store.. I'll buy Abercrombie's clothes .. cause I think they're cool... and .. I'd eat marshmallows from Kraft even if they gave millions of dollars to a puppy mill.

Really .. twice in ONE week. A dream come true.

Check it ...

NOW THAT'S WHAT'S UP!!!

On ultimate goodness ...

2011-04-11T17:07:00.000-07:00

Kraft never disappoints ...

and that's all I have to say about that ...

On flight attendants ...

2011-04-04T14:35:00.000-07:00

So .. this was a funny story. But I didn't think it was blog worthy.

Until I went out with Shay the other night. And the more details I gave .. the funnier the story got.

Shay is TOTALLY right. I do believe it IS good blog material.

This happened on my flight out to Florida. Specifically the last flight ... from Atlanta to Jacksonville. 45 minutes short.

It goes down like this ...

I had an aisle seat.

And there was a male flight attendant.

And apparently they aren't all gay.

Which was a new discovery.

And every time this male flight attendant would pass me .. he would rub my shoulder.

I was reading.

And it would make me jump every time he did it.

Was thinking ... 'weird'

The next time he made a pass I leaned more towards the center of my section.

BUT this time he bends down to talk to me ..

"are you okay .. can I get you anything?"

I'm thinking .. first of all I'm not in first class ... but second of all - how bout a chicken strip basket with extra ketchup .. cause that 1/8 oz peanuts just ain't cuttin' it.

He winks. Returns to front of plane.

I look around me. Did NO ONE just see what happened? Why does everyone look like this is normal behavior?

Whatever. Go back to book.

A few minutes later ... he returns.

With ... A BUSINESS CARD.

For real?

It's a drive by. Gives it to me ... like that's normal. And walks away.

Again .. I look around for someone .. ANYONE ... to laugh with me. Dead pan faces. Robots.

Now it's time to study the card. Please ... join me.

Who knew I was flying on the same airplane with a member of the "Special Ops 7" team. I mean really ... who needs air marshalls when you have an under cover co-op special forces-disguised-as-a-flight-attendant on board?

Time passes ... and there are a million questions that COULD have been asked.

Such as ..

"wait .. get back here. Can you get me anything?? HELL YES ... you are prepared with your chute at a moment's notice to jump off the plane in case 'THAT CALL' comes right? Well .. for starters .. forget the chicken strips. I would like a lobster. Fresh .. from Maine. Now go"

"Are you KIDDING? Special Ops?? What branch do you work for? oh wait .. let's get our magnifiers out and look at that seal ... what's that? ... oh ... it's the ol' DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE logo. No specific branch? Army .. Marine? Oh ...that's right ... you work for them ALL"

"What rank are you? Oh wait .. lemme look on that card again. You are SO special (ops).. you outranked everyone and no longer need a rank. Got it... that's so cool"

"I see the DEPARTMENT of DEFENSE is really cutting back on that budget lately. Your card is printed out on Kodak paper .. from your own computer? They must trust you with super dooper special top secret missions"

a little blurry .. tried to get the Kodak seal

"Your email address? No .mil account? Just a hotmail ... oh wait ... AND a yahoo account. I forgot .. you are UNDER COVER"

Those non-gay flight attendants are the best aren't they?

It must have been my socks.

Fly the friendly skies ... they are very friendly indeed ...

On what Hayley does during spreak ...

2011-04-04T14:02:00.000-07:00

Yes .. I made that word up. Spreak. Spring break... it's shorter... so I am ... and oh so clever.

Anyway .. back to Hayley.

She was invited by her boyfriend - Jacob's family to go with them on a trip to the DC area during spreak this year.

She was also invited by ME to go to our cousin's awesome wedding (ON THE BEACH).

Guess which one she picked? Well ... the biggest hint was that she wasn't in a single picture I posted at the wedding.

So ... they rent an RV and drive clear across the grand United States (without stopping) for this trip. Right .. she went in KNOWING this .. and STILL chose THAT over a wedding.

I'm not bitter.

Oh yeah .. here's who was in the RV. Jacob's two brothers and their wives ... the one brother has two little guys ages 6 months and 2 years. Jacob's sister and Jacob. That's right ... 10 people ... driving 24 hours ALL THE WAY TO DC.

Right .. she went in KNOWING this .. and STILL chose THAT over a wedding.

I'm not bitter.

I did get the phone call about 5 hours from their destination begging to send her back home OR to me on a plane.

Uh- no.

Once she got there ... she had a good time. They did family things. Unfortunately one of those things included an unexpected funeral for the grandmother. That sucked.

But then they also made a trip to Philadelphia .. where she had a blast. They spent a week doing "stuff" and then made the long drive home. The parents rode back in the RV with them (yes .. that equals 12) but there was less sibling fighting homeward bound.

Overall I think she did end up having a good time. (but SURELY it couldn't have been AS fun as a trip to the beach .. I'm just sayin') After the shock and awe wore off. I was pretty sure she and Jacob would have to end their relationship after .. but they are still going strong.

I asked her to take a lot of pictures for me. I got three. Guess that's better than none ....

On what boys do during spring break ...

2011-03-31T20:51:00.000-07:00

So while I was gone...

Sean took the week off from work to play with the boys while they were on spring break.

And they choose to do what?

Snowboarding...

Somehow it just doesn't sound right. Snowboarding on spring break. Wrong. But .. whatever floats your boat. At least they chose to do this while I was away (you know, instead of inviting me of which I would of had to make some excuse like 'sorry .. I'm washing my hair that day so can't go').

From what I hear and see they had a blast. This is Eli's element. Sean said that he would go ahead and fast .. finding jumps along the way. He would find a level area .. lay down to make snow angels (while still attached to the board) to wait for Sean and Jackson to catch up. He'd spring up and do it all over again. They spent two days at Keystone ... and loved every minute.

They came home with sunburned happy faces. They are all currently peeling and you would have thought they went to the beach with me. Funny how that happens ...

I think it was good for all of us. Good quality 'boy' time was had by the three of them. My favorite was what Sean said to me after I got home ..

Sean ~ "yeah .. I think the boys are going through this new phase or something"

me ~ "uh -huh?" (he had my full attention ..)

Sean ~ "yeah .. they keep asking me to do things for them. you know - like get them something to drink .. or fix them something to eat. it's all the time they are doing this"

Welcome to my life.

On a mini vacation with Ashley...

2011-03-28T17:45:00.000-07:00

So ... again Sarah being SO THOUGHTFUL while she planned this wedding ... planned it to be in Palm Coast, Florida. Thank you Sarah ... as this was less than an hour away from ...

ASHLEY!!

Naturally I had to extend my stay. To play. With my best friend. In the warm sunshine. My favorite part of being with Ashley is that we pick up right where we left off. But maybe that's it ... we never really "leave off" ... It's just more of a continuation. I consider myself super fortunate for Ashley to have come into my life. Although .. I believe even more strongly that it was meant to be. We are the same person. Which is probably the reason we never ever fight .. why she never ever gets on my nerves. Truly. I mean .. how can I get on my own nerves?

Impossible.

When I'm with Ashley I revert back to being 13. It's a timeless relationship really. I know that each year we grow older but seriously with Ashley I'm young. And I know it's ALWAYS gonna be like that. When we are 80 .. we will be sitting on the beach tanning our leathery skin laughing about our 'fat asses' ... insisting that the other is skinnier and prettier. So this trip was a quick one. A couple of days before the wedding and a couple after. I treasure every MOMENT I get to spend with this girl.

She loves the sun as much as I do. She loves the beach as much as I do. She loves shopping as much as I do. She loves a good deal as much as I do. She loves to exercise as much as I do. She loves to count calories as much as I do. She loves no bake cookies as much as I do.

Not to mention the fact that when we are together EVERYONE assumes we are sisters. I love that. Because we are. Here are some pictures that capture the memories we made March 2011. (but make no mistake .. this happened to be a 'bonus' trip .. meaning it didn't REALLY count ... I will still be making my annual summer trip)

at the pool ...

the rental car they gave me to drive to the wedding. we couldn't stop laughing .. it's the smallest car I've EVER been in. I mean ...my suitcase is almost as big as the entire car. yes .. we spongebob and patrick stole Mr. Crab's car...

our favorite hobby ...

our favorite place to eat Sandy Bottoms ...

My favorite pic this trip. I love this girl ...

baby Tuscany ... having fun at the beach ..

of course .. my other daughter Salem ..

I miss you Ashley ... my life is better for knowing you. More full because you are in it. I couldn't ask for a better BEST friend. Thank you for being you. Thank you for laughing together until we cry. Thank you for the bond we've formed. It just keeps getting better!

I love you!

On a fairy tale wedding ...

2011-03-25T16:16:00.000-07:00

So ... I've been MIA.

Why you ask?

Because I flew to Florida for my cousin's wedding.

Yes .. that's right ... FLORIDA IN MARCH!!!!!

Am I a lucky girl? Oh yes .... I am ....and btw I flew out on St. Patrick's Day ...

(and yes .. this is what I wore on the plane cross country, by myself in celebration of this very lucky day of mine)

So back to the reason for the flight out...

Sarah's wedding. Talk about PERFECT!!! It was in Palm Coast ... on the beach (I SAID ON THE BEACH!!!! .. and yes that was me yelling it). How extremely thoughtful of Sarah. I mean ... to keep me and my wants and needs on the forefront as she planned her wedding. Surely .. she KNEW how much I LOVE the beach. A million thanks Sarah ...

Her dad .. my Uncle Jeff got us a 3 bedroom villa to stay in. Just me ...my mom and dad .. Uncle Jeff and his girlfriend. This was also perfection....

I mean .. here's the view from our balcony on the right ...

and ... to the left ...

This is what my view looked like the afternoon OF the wedding ...

me and the madre on the beach...

Her wedding began at 5pm that evening. It could NOT have been a more perfect day for a wedding ... slight breeze ... not a cloud in the sky ...

me and mom right behind where the wedding took place. SEE?? GORGEOUS!

The wedding itself was just perfect. Simple .. beautiful ... touching. Sarah was just breathtaking. With her new husband Bryan .. they are seriously a gorgeous couple. The ceremony was simple ... I loved, loved, loved the way they looked at each other. It's love. And it's real. I would have been a basket-case but Sarah looked completely relaxed and comfortable. One of my favorite moments was watching her nod her head in agreement with what the officiant was saying. So stinkin' cute...

And... and ... and ... Kristen, her sister. She was the matron of honor. I caught myself mesmerized by her as well during the ceremony. I kept stealing glimpses of her ... the way she was watching her sister. They are super close ... and it was obvious. You know when you look back at the memories you store during an event? For me ... this moment in time was glancing at Kristen ... and she was crying. But she was smiling while a tear ran down her cheek. It was the neatest thing to be apart of ... so public yet so intimate. The sun was shining on their faces and the tear ACTUALLY glistened on her face. Touching. There are no other words to describe that moment.

The reception afterwards was fun. Dinner was yummy ... dancing was fun .... the cake was beautiful ... AND guess what Sarah also did for me? (I KNOW .. AGAIN she was JUST thinking of ME when planning) ... there was a chocolate fountain... COMPLETE with MARSHMALLOWS to dip. My stomach hurt from multiple trips to that room.

My table. That's sand and shells in the globe. She had sand dollars as name place cards...

My only regret? That I didn't get more pictures ...yeah .. Ms. Brilliant here was so 'into' the wedding ... I didn't even think to get any pics with the bride AND groom. Duh. Not to mention my camera was messed up and took HORRIBLE pictures indoors that night ...

For example ...

with Sarah ...

and with Kristen...

It didn't end there. The next day we all had brunch before everyone left. Again, the food was fabulous. I left looking like I was going to have a food baby. I can't remember the last time I ate SO much.

Some pics of me and the parents before brunch ...

It was definitely what I would call a fairy-tale wedding. Thank you Sarah ... for inviting me to share this day with you. I feel honored ... and grateful.

Happy -the -rest-of-your- life together!!

On new marshmallows...

2011-03-13T08:57:00.000-07:00

Look what I found ...

I'm happy today.

On what happens when the Xbox dies ...

2011-03-10T09:30:00.001-08:00

So the Xbox broke a couple of days ago. This has forced the boys to pick up other toys.

In the form of AirSoft guns. And bb's... LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS of bb's.

In fact ... because clearly Hayley hates me, she bought them 20,000 bb's for Christmas.

And .... they are ALL OVER MY HOUSE. I can't go anywhere without seeing these little gems. In the carpet ... the bathtub ... the washing machine ... the kitchen table ... in laundry baskets ... in Sophie's dog food bowl (which I'm sure also equates to in her stomach).

It's quite annoying really. Just when I think I've cleaned them all up ... I turn around and 10 more are staring at me. How do they multiply?

This is an actual trail of them going from the hall all the way into their bedroom

The laundry room is clearly where they load the guns ... and miss ...

Scottie, the genius Xbox fixer has repaired the box and it will be back up tomorrow. I wonder if he cleans up bb's?

On differences ...

2011-03-08T17:36:00.000-08:00

Tonight was a fish stick dinner kind of a night. As I was putting the fish sticks on paper plates for the kids I looked at the frozen broccoli on the counter and said ...

"Ahh .. we don't need veggies tonight ... let's just forget those and eat like crap"

... enter "the rule follower" ...

Jackson "moooom!!! NO!! We HAVE to have our vegetables!"

And just as he says that Eli flies through the door. Red cheeks ... grinning ear to ear ...

"MOM!! It was so freaking cool ... we just set off three CO2 cartridges outside. They blew up right in front of my face. COOL HUH??!!"

The differences in my two boys who have been parented the same way is stark.

.... and just as I'm finishing up this blog post, Eli runs into the room and says "mom - is there any way you can get my shoe off the roof?"

On outdoor fun ..

2011-03-07T08:15:00.000-08:00

I'm learning to love Colorado. This winter hasn't been so brutal. A few snow days .. but then it melts. You get the snow but then two days later it can be sunny and in the 50's. It melts fast. I can live with that.

Last week Colorado gave me a tease. A it's-almost-spring tease. It was nice. We wore shorts. It was in the high 60's.

It was last weekend during one of these warm snaps that I made an impulse buy. I kept looking down at my future purchase in my cart thinking "yeah .. this might not be such a great idea". Then after it was purchased I was putting it in my trunk thinking "yeah .. someone might end up in the ER".

But then ... who am I to deny my kids some fun? If someone gets hurt ... they will have had fun doing it ..

Here's the latest purchase ...

And ... no one got hurt.

Yet.

On yet another session ...

2011-02-28T09:56:00.000-08:00

I was late. And the door was closed ... I didn't want to knock. So I simply turned off the sound machine and waited. Within seconds the door opened.

Funny.

"let's talk about the kids" I say

"no let's talk about ... " basically - what she wanted to talk about

"let's talk about the kids" I say

It went no where. She gave me some theory's .. I gave her my own. I wasn't going to let it go. Not sure why .. but I couldn't. She told me she could back hers up with 30 other therapists.

Think I care?

"why are you being so combative Alana?" she says

"why can't you just agree with me so we can move on?" I say

She agrees to disagree... and somewhere after this statement she jokingly tells Sean he should beat me. He is now liking her.

"why can't we talk about the kids?" I ask

It's not going where I'd like. I get up to find some candy in a bowl on the desk. Got me a cherry tootsie pop.

I pick up my phone to see if Hayley had texted ... it's 4:30 .. boys should be walking in ... just making sure there are no emergencies ...

"put your phone down Alana .. that's so rude when Sean is trying to talk" she says

I get up and walk over to the rocker glider. Sit and start to rock. It starts to squeak. I am delighted.

"why did you move over there Alana? Can you stop rocking so hard because it's making a lot of noise" she says

"because I wanted a different view ... I wanted to sit here and imagine what I look like sitting on the couch" I say

"well" she says "I think it's symbolizes something. We are talking about something you don't want ... so you are removing yourself from the situation. Sound familiar with everything else you do in your life?"

"uh. no" I say

She thinks she knows everything. It's so annoying.

"well .. it looks like I don't have another appointment that's available until a month from now" she says

"are you sure?" I say .. "perhaps you could cancel someone else and put us in that spot .. a month sure is a long time to go without seeing me"

"I'm good" she says ...

On a dream ...

2011-02-25T07:24:00.000-08:00

Eli, clearly excited to head off to school for the day ...

First of all ... thanks to my good friend Janie for this post. Had it not been for her keen observations at school ... I would have thrown away this little gem of a paper (just like most everything else that comes home in the Thursday folders). Her son, Nathan is in the same class Eli is and she was at school and took note of the proudly displayed art stapled to the wall in the hall.

Apparently ... they were assigned to finish the sentence "I have a dream..." complete with a picture and what their "dream" is.

She made the observation that there were several note worthy dreams. (Mostly by girls, of course) Some being "I have a dream .... to stop world hunger" or "I have a dream ... for world peace" ...

And in the midst of all these 'change the world for the better' dreams .. was Eli's ...

Yes .. that's Eli holding two money bags. I will translate ... because he is above average ... and writes in hieroglyphics.

"I have a dream ...about having a lot of money. and buying things for people. and buying things for me too. and buying things for homeless people too. and buying things to live."

The caption coming out of his self portrait holding the money bags says "uh huh".

That's right. That's my kid. I'm super proud.

On the good son...

2011-02-23T20:48:00.000-08:00

I like this picture of Jackson ... how he's touching Enoch's head. It's just who he is.

I'm not sure how I did it .. but I (purely by accident) created a wholesome son.

Jackson.

He's such a rule follower. A do the right thing kid.

The other night we were at Chili's and he wanted to take some of the chips and salsa home. So I got a to-go box and threw the chips in and the container with salsa.

Jackson ... "MOM!! You can't DO that. That is a plastic bowl .. it's theirs .. if you take it ... it's stealing"

me (like any good mom would say) "Jackson .. son ... it's okay. People do this all the time. It's cool ...chill"

Jackson ... "No mom. You can't. Will you please, please just ask for a to-go bowl we can take it home in? I mean .. do you know there are probably cameras all over this place?"

Yes .. because Chili's is just like the bank. Ready to bust bowl-stealers at the door.

Because I didn't want my child to see me go to jail that night .. I took the bowl out of the container. Law breaking averted.

Last weekend he came home with his weekly report. Under 'behavior" he just got a check. (he ALWAYS has a plus in that area). His teacher made it a point to write a note underneath that said "and this was only because he had some issues talking to his neighbor".

I read it and he recognized my look of shock right away. "No mom .. it's okay. I had been sitting next to my good friend. I felt like I couldn't stop talking to him so I did go to the teacher and I asked her to move me."

Wow. That's all I've got to say. That was Hayley's reaction too as she was sitting there listening. "Really Jackson? Mom .. this has to be stopped."

On shoes...

2011-02-20T17:07:00.000-08:00

I cleaned out my closet today.

I confess. I am a shoe whore.

More specifically .. a tennis shoe whore.