Today I was a chaperone on a field trip for Eli's class.
22 7 year olds.
What could be more FUN??
Right this minute I am thinking TONS of things .. like poking my eyes out with a pitchfork.
The Underpants ..
Another mom : "Uh, what's at the bottom of that kid's pants?"
"Dunno, maybe a blue tissue?". Teacher to the rescue. "OH! It's a pair of underwear".
Parent (not me .. although I was thinking it) "Well, are they CLEAN??". Teacher (whom also is a mother .. who else would do this?) smells. "Yeah, clean laundry".
Underpants were caught in the bottom of the jeans. Hysterical. Teacher now has to put the underwear inside her jacket and zips it. We were walking to the Denver mint. You can't take ANYTHING in there with you. There was a loooong list of 'banned' items. I forgot my gun, numb chucks and my razor blade ... that was good. So not even backpacks. No where else to put Captain's underpants.
Get to the mint. WAIT.. this is only after JUMPING, CLIMBING, SPITTING, YELLING, SPLASHING our way there. I was given Eli and three of his best buds. Boys. Probably best buds because all of them acted exactly alike. Wild boars. I truly thought the teacher liked me.
She must hate me.
So back to the underpants. We have to each be escorted through the metal detectors. Teacher has to go through about five times. We wait and observe. Remove rings .. remove belt .. then remove watch. Removing watch causes her to have to remove jacket. Ahh .. we have forgotten about Captain underpants. They fall out.
It couldn't have been more comical. Classic really. The security guards don't find the scene near as funny as we do.
In the mint. Just advice to all .. never, ever take a 7 year old. It's boring. Who thought this as fun? Do they really care what year which coin was in circulation or how much each bag weighs that holds the coins? How about the fact that there are new Lincoln penny coins in circulation for 2009? Nahh ...
What was most pressing on these boys mind was how to sneak out of the building to get some food. Or as I observed them watching the machines .. "HEY this would be an AWESOME place to play hide-n-go seek!!".
Then it was the painful walk back to the bus. JUMPING, RUNNING, ALMOST GETTING RUN OVER walk back (this is downtown Denver and we had to walk on Colfax - suicide). The four very lovely well- behaved boys I had, followed each stupid move the other decided to try.
The bus ride was quite painful as well but at least they were contained. They sat directly behind teacher. "Wow, this is like being in a massage chair". I don't think they cared.
Now I am home. Now I am exhausted. And I have a headache.
But I feel like a good mom.
2 comments:
Wow. Sounds boring and I'm 30! I don't blame the boys either, I would have rather punched the person sitting next to me too! But, you're right, you are a good mom. Take a nap!
yea back on the good mom list after the whole flying out of here on his birthday! this should totally make up for that and then some! i loved the story. i was rolling! thanks for the laugh friend...not at you, with you as always!
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