Full Circle

I know this girl. Her name is Hayley. She's my girl. I really like her. A lot lately.

Probably over the past 4 months she's done this complete turn-around. A good one. She's matured. Maybe I have too. Not sure what the change is .. but I like it. She's turned not only her attitude around, but also her grades. She works hard to maintain a B .. and that's awesome blossom.

I love being around her. I miss her when she's gone. We text through-out the day ...and talk about life when she's home. I giggle with her. Hug her. Cry with her. Act silly with her. Share life with her. There was a time (not too long ago) that I couldn't wait until she graduated so she could just move out already. At this moment, I can't imagine life without her.

I'm sure this time is short lived. It can't last (flashing lights .. siren ...flashing lights ... reality .. she's a teenager) ... I know this. But for now, I am going to bask in the moment.

Last week I went through an experience with her ... again, that just solidifies the fact that maturing is going on inside.

I came home and she was home ... told me she was having an argument with her boyfriend. She's been dating him for about 9 months now. While rolling her eyes told me that the subject of sex has come up. Again, sometimes it amazes me that she is so open and honest with me. I kinda feel honored that she chooses me to be her confidant. He wants sex. She doesn't. Like any typical male out there .. regardless of the age .. he whined and complained about this. She said "mom, I told him .. I'm NOT doing that until I get married. Seriously. I'm not backing down on this". They probably went back and forth for about two days with the subject .. as she keeps me informed on how the drama is going...

I always imagined that some day .. one day ...her stubbornness and her independent personality would be used for good. For something other than to drive me absolutely batty. That day has finally come. What's interesting about Hayley is that she's a lot like me .. as far as don't TELL us what to do because a line will be pushed. Last year .. I tried to TELL her what to do. Leaders in the church tried to TELL her what to do. No amount of guilt, punishment, lectures, etc .. were doing any good. I finally had to tell everyone to lay off of her .. to include myself. I gave up the fight that I wasn't going to MAKE her do anything I wanted her to. All I could do was teach her right from wrong and let her make her own choices. It's taken a few months but she's come into her own. Learned on her own what decisions she is going to make in life. She's taught me lessons far above and beyond what I could ever imagine my own child could teach me.

So I let go. I protected her .. gave her choices .. and let her make her own decisions. Life lessons.

A few days after their little rift started ..I get a text that says "okay, I think he finally got it into his little bird brain of his that it's just not going to happen. I'm not moving on this one. And he gets it"

Then another comes in "I told him I'm not going to hell. If he wants to .. then that's fine but I won't be joining him"

Full circle I call it. I don't know .. but I'm just super proud of her ... for her making choices about her life NOT because I told her to .. but because she WANTS to.

Huge lesson for me ... and I'm pretty sure I'm not done learning lessons in parenthood. It sure is awfully cool that because I gave up some of my control, she actually handed it back to me.