The little humans that live in my house ... texting me.

Making it up .. one field trip at a time.

So .. clearly I had to try and make up my lack of parenting skills.

What better way than to volunteer for Eli's field trip?  Knee jerk reaction.  Form came home .. immediately sign .. without studying.  Then a week goes by and I forget I even signed up for the field trip (stellar) until the reminder came home from school.

HOLD UP.

We were going to the Western Museum of Mining and Industry.  Serves me right.  For real?  No I couldn't wait.  Really?  Really.

Before we leave school ...

Teacher "There are these really cool trees there.  But you will not climb on them"

Kids in unison "WHY NOT?"

Teacher "Because I didn't bring an ambulance with me"

Kid (boy) "well you brought your cell phone didn't you?"

clearly they felt comfortable going with the cell phone suggestion

Awesome.

So ... it ... was ... pretty ... amazingly ... boring.

I mean ... machines ... and mining ... and 20 minute video on creating mines ....fascinating.

and more talk about machines .. and how they work... and what purpose they serve ...

yawn.  I had to go to the bathroom a lot.  And take the long way back.  A lot.  

and because I am 12 I found the following words all in one sentence .... given by the tour guide ... HILARIOUS ...

"Lubrication.  Balls to wall.  Friction.  2 rods"  

I laughed.  Chuckled really.  But no one else did.  Lame.  

Eli did dig the 5 minute panning for gold part ...

Good times 4th graders ... good times.  Good ... all day ... like ALL day .. fun.  

(but remember I was there .. which makes me a good parent.  and totally negates the fact that I was in the principal's office with a police officer earlier in the week.  whatever.  credit.  the extra kind)

The smart one ..

Unknown number rolls in on the cell ...  sometimes I play a little game called - okay let's answer and see what this brings ...

And I was up for the game.

"yo"

"hello Ms Wester?"

"yeah?"

"Hi.  This is the principal over here at Flagstone and there's been an issue with your son Eli.  He has been the cause of a fight that broke out after school today.  He didn't actually touch the kid who got beat up but he was the manipulator of the situation"

Silence.  I'm thinking.  A lot of things.  The one word that didn't quite fit the scenario was "manipulator".  If he would have just said "bully" the yeah .. okay.

"okay?"  I wasn't sure what the correct response was.


"well .. I let him go home on the bus today because after the fight broke up and I went to get Eli .. a boy stood up for Eli and said he didn't touch the kid.  But maybe you can talk to him .. get his phone to see any mean texts he's sent ... and see what his story is.  He will need to report to the office immediately when he gets to school tomorrow.  With his phone.  I need to see his phone."

Silence.  I'm thinking again.  That didn't sound right.  He needs his phone?  Nah .. not really .. that's my job.

"okay.  I can do that.  So I just send him to school like normal and tell him to go to the office?  Do I need to bring him in and be there with him when you talk to him?"

"no .. it's not necessary to be there with him.  Just make sure he brings his phone. Most likely he will have in school suspension"

For being a manipulator?  Okay.

Enter Eli about 90 seconds later.  Let's talk son.  What's going on with a fight?  I didn't touch him mom.  Okay .. I get that.  But I need you to tell me what you did wrong.  Because little man, you are in some serious s***.  Spill.  Now.  I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING MOM.  Then give me your phone.  What's on your phone?  Okay.  Well I called D names.  What else?  Well at lunch I said to S we should beat D up.  Cause he's a bad sport mom.  Yeah .. okay ... pretty much not an awesome way to deal with a bad sport.  Normally.  Then what?  Well .. after school S actually jumped on D and started punching him.  And what did you do Eli?  Um .. just stood there.  Okay.  Exhale.  Is D okay?  Like did he bleed .. broken bones ... in a coma?  He's fine.  S got off of D pretty quick after kids called a teacher.

Fast forward to the next day.  I pack Eli up and go to school with him.  Seriously .. don't tell me it's not necessary come with my kid.  We wait for principal.

Hi principal.  Let's talk.  Yes Ms. Wester.  Eli is in a lot of trouble.  He can not call another child names and then plan an attack on the child.  He then gives Eli a piece of paper. To write his "statement" down.  Tears start welling in Eli's eyes.

(Oh and before he starts talking he looks at Eli's wrist and says - that isn't appropriate for school .. take it off.  Looks at me.  What?  I love boobies .. c'mon .. it's for breast cancer.  C'mon. Who doesn't want to support a good cause?  Whatever)

Principal "I'll be right back .. there's an police officer here to talk to Eli"

Silence.  Eli looks at me.  I look confident.  Shrug my shoulders.  It's cool son.  Mom's got this.

Inside "WHAT THE F???  I WAS TOLD I DIDN'T NEED TO BE HERE.  SO THAT MEANS MY BABY WOULD BE TALKING TO A POLICE OFFICER.  ALONE" ... That's BS

In enters officer.

(I didn't realize when I walked into school .. that this cop car in front of the school was for MY kid)

"Hi.  I'm officer so -n-so ... and I'm here to talk to Eli.  This falls under the bully category.  And we have a no tolerance for bullying in schools.  And this is close to mine and the principals heart ... because we were bullied when we were in school"

OH S*** ELI WE ARE DONE.  DONE.  I look at him.  He's still writing.  Hasn't looked up.

"He will probably be charged with two things.  Conspiracy and harassment.  You will have to go to court with him.  But we will talk about a few things first".

ARE YOU KIDDING ME??

Enter my mouth  ...

"seriously?  conspiracy?  He doesn't even know the meaning of that word"


"yes Ms Wester .. but he manipulated .. controlled and had someone else execute his plan"

"wait .. hold up.  Eli ... do you know he gets pulled out for special ed classes every day?  You do realize he's really not THAT smart.  I mean .. you're kinda giving him a lot of credit here" ... as I look over at Eli trying his best to write his "statement" ... he can't even spell all the words .. it's even hard to read.  He's no Timothy McVeigh.

That wasn't really getting me anywhere.  Fast.  I started zoning ... as he is droning on and on about policies .. examples ... all I could see was 10 years from now when Eli's in federal prison.  How was I going to fix this?  How was I going to get us out of this situation?


"but wait .. hold up.  I have another son.  Jackson.  Have you met him?  I mean .. he's a great kid.  Like really good .. ask around.  Yeah .. he's pretty much mine.  So I AM a good parent.  I AM.  SWEAR." 


"and anyway Ms. Wester ... as an 11 year old he's responsible for .. "

"WAIT .. he's NINE."

"right .. well he is aware of consequences for his actions.  And at 11 .. "

"nine"  seriously thought I was going to need to pull the birth certificate.

I don't understand.  D used to be Eli's best friend.  For a long time.  S came into the picture.  And actually started coming home from school with Eli.  Enter complication.  And lessons quickly learned.

When S first came to our home ... I wasn't thrilled.  He had long hair.  With highlights.  And earrings.  Two of them.  Large ones.  One step down from gages.  At nine.  Who let's their nine year old do that?  They went outside to play, one of the first days he was over.  S fell outside.  He came in.  I patched him up.  Make sure you show your mom this when you get home though .. okay.  "I don't have a mom".  Oh.  The softer side of me emerged.  Who can live without a mom?  You can't live without a mom.  A mom is needed.  Like air.  Over the course of the next few weeks .. I had S over more and more.  I felt bad.  I wanted him to feel what it was like to have a mom.  He ate dinner with us almost every night.  No one called to check on him.  I took him home when it got dark outside.  No one was offering to come get him.  One day he asked how expensive hockey was.  We chatted about it.  He said his dad wouldn't let him play because it was too expensive.  Again .. my heart.  I felt bad that a child wanted an opportunity to play sports but wouldn't be given that chance.  I took him to practices .. and then to games ... so he could watch and see if that's what he really wanted to do.  I mean .. I could buy him some used skates and he could play around with Eli after practices.  He then was spending the night with us. I really liked S. He was sweet.  He was kind.  He played fair.

Back to problem at hand.  Now I was in principal's office crying.  Explaining this story.  That I thought it would be okay to be-friend S.  If we could have a good influence in his life ... that trumped the initial concerns that I had.

The principal had Eli leave the room.

Do you know anything about S's home life?

No.

Principal's face softened.  The mood in the room drastically changed.  He told me had I not told him what had transpired in the past month .. he would not share any information he was about to share.  It's like a puzzle.  S's stance on the fight is defensive.  He would not admit wrong.  He had every right to beat D up.  It was necessary.  For his quality of life.  Huh?  You see Ms. Wester .. he was defending Eli.  Eli wasn't happy with D.  By telling S he didn't like D .... S was going to do everything in his power to make sure his friendship was solid with Eli.  He had a taste of something he had never had in his life.  He would defend that with all he had.  He wanted a family.  He wanted Eli's family.  If that meant he had to beat D up to keep that intact ... no problem.  D was a wedge.  The end justified the means.

What sucks is that little S lost.  All the way around.  Because as much as I wanted to do good for him in his life ... I can't sacrifice my own son.  Lesson learned ... trying to do things the noble way .. won't always work out for the best.

Heavy silence.  And an exhale.  No more talking about charges.  But Eli did manipulate the situation to his advantage.  I still had to add "but seriously .. he's not that smart" one more time.  For the record.

Eli came back in.  Talked to the officer.  And the principal.  About his actions.  How he was wrong.  What he is going to do to correct his actions against D.  In school suspension it was.  Tears still running down his face.  Eli doesn't cry.  I think he got it.  Not cool to plan fights.  Check.  Don't call names.  Check.

- funny .. when I was 9 and called someone a name ... and was caught ... I would have to apologize and everyone moves on.  Being arrested wasn't in the equation.  Times have changed.  Just a little.

But two days later I get another phone call...

"Ms. Wester.  Hi.  Um ... I hate to tell you this but Eli is in trouble again."

SERIOUSLY??? Now what??

"well .. on the way in to school today he said out loud to anyone who would listen 'wouldn't it be funny if D fell into the bee bush?' .. so he will be spending every recess and lunch in the office with me for the next week" 

in almost a whisper I replied ... "I told you so .. he's not that smart."  

And he's 9. Not 11.  But I guess that's not really important anyway.

Prom 2012

It's that time of year.

My baby girl is off to her final (um .. I hope, anyway) senior prom.

She went with her new boyfriend Tristan.  I like this kid.  He's good.  Treats her well.  And plays with my dog.

She had her hair done for free.  She had make up artists come to the house.  For free.  She had a photographer.  For free.  And a limo.  For free.

 .... **tangent coming.  This girl amazes me with the opportunities that come her way.  Honestly she lives up to the saying "born with a horseshoe up the ass".  Is it luck?  Is it because she's personable?  I'm not sure.  But really?  Who finds a nanny job that pays upwards of $25 an hour.  Or wins $150 in victoria secret 'secret rewards' money?  Or has a modeling job fall in her lap (most recently) .. who offers to give her a make up artist for her and her friend for prom?  Or also offers her a limo for the night?  Oh wait .. not to forget the photographer.  Or the fact that she's been taken out to dinner four times by the company.  Or is paid $100 for talking to them for an hour.  Or is given $200 for two months of tanning to go with the job.  Or is going to be paid $100 an hour for shoots in the future.  Not just for the shoot itself but for the entire day .. travel back and forth ... make up .. hair time ...  Hayley.  That's who.  I'm taking her to the store next time to buy a lotto ticket.  Just pick the numbers dear and I will pay for the ticket.  .....**

So back to prom.  Hayley was gorgeous.  When she first brought the dress home after days and days and hours upon hours of searching for the "perfect dress" ... she was so proud.  I did a double take.  Keep your thoughts inside your head Alana .. do not let them freely flow .. use the filter .. you can do this.  "That's so lovely Hayley .. you will look just ... great"  Smile Alana.  Look happy.

But she put the dress on after hair and makeup were complete and it was GORGEOUS on her.  It was actually a pretty proud moment for me.  She has her own style.  She likes to be unique .. not always going with the flow.  And that's okay.  Because she can work it.  She truly looked like Barbie.

So they had a double date ... went to dinner ... after prom ... watched the sun rise ... and got home in the wee hours of the morning.

I'd say it was pretty magical for her.  Definitely a night she will remember forever.

I'm happy it was special to her.  Cause she's special to me.  

Oh .. I have to add this photo.  She was getting ready to walk out the door .. and I was looking up to her to hug her.  And thought .. okay - I am either freakishly short or this girl is freakishly tall.


You decide ..

Dance dare ...

So here's how it started ...

OH YES THAT IS AN AWESOMELY AWESOME IDEA.

She conned her boyfriend Tristan to go with us as the filmer.

We started in Target.  But not enough people.  Made our way to Walmart.  Probably spent over an hour doing this.  I haven't laughed that hard in ... well .. a really long time.  Like tears of laughter.  Silent, very quiet tears of laughter.

First of all .. it looks easy.  Oh I tell you it is not.  For these reasons ...

1 - it's hard to get the nerve to actually follow through.  because what if you're caught?  what if .. what if .. what if ...  till you get over the what if ..

2 - it's hard NOT TO LAUGH.  Loudly.  I've never laughed so quiet in my entire life ..

3- dancing without music is much harder than it seems.  it's hard for me to dance WITH music ... but to get my funk on without a beat proved to be a task.

But we obviously figured it out.  Fast.

I will be doing this again with my girl.  I now find all kinds of opportunities to perform.  The gym ... the mall .. getting icecream .. volunteering at school .... but I don't often have a person to film.

Enjoy ... because WE DID!

My Sophie

I have the cutest dog ever.

Her name is Sophie.

I named her Sophie because that was going to be the name of the next daughter I was going to have ... then kept being boys.

I actually love her.

It's okay to love your dog.

Look at her.  How could I not?

And she's mellow.  Calm.  Good.

Again.  How could I not?

But she does NOT like to go to the vet.  No .. she ... doesn't ....

Hayley's boyfriend Tristan has sweet taste in socks.  I'll keep him around for a bit I suppose.  

Check

Eli is in his third year of hockey.

Best year yet. It's so fun to watch these games.  I like to stand behind the goalie.  To watch when they score. It's amazing what a difference a year makes with these kids.  This year .. it's more strategy and less just hitting the puck as hard as they can.  Eli is better about controlling the puck as he skates ... and paying attention to everything around him to be able to make complete passes.

Last Sat's game he made the first goal.  Super proud.  His reaction?  Super cool.  Fist bump his teammates.  Move on.  I was jumping up and down yelling his name.  Afterwards he says "please don't yell for me or say my name during games mom.  It's distracting".  Whoopsie.

This year they have blue jersey's.  "Blue Ice" is the name of their team.  They had cool names put on the back of their jersey's.  Examples of offense were "speedy" or defense "the defender".  I tried to help Eli come up with a cool name.  His take "uh .. I am NOT going to have a name like that on my jersey".  "come on Eli .. it's fun .. we'll come up with something beast".  "no mom.  I want Wester.  That's it.  I mean it .. tell them Wester.."

So he skates next to "dr awesome" and "the wall" as "wester" ... so be it.

I love that he loves this game.  I love watching him play....

GO ELI!  (said as a whisper) ...

On Easter you eat a lot of candy ...

It seems to me as my kids get older ... they get less enthusiastic about holidays.  I still get excited shopping for them .. thinking about things they would think are cool.  Getting giggly inside as the holiday gets closer.  And they just don't share that excitement with me anymore. Bummer.

What's wrong with these little humans?

Eli was the only one of my babies who thought Easter baskets were still cool.

Jackson didn't want to get up.
 













Hayley didn't want to get up.

Whatever peeps (get it?) .. I'll still celebrate.  Mostly cause I still freaking LOVE candy.  And peeps happen to be a personal fave.

Tip of the Easter season ... always always eat the head first ... tastes way more delicious that way.

Happy Jesus Day.  He still trumps the Easter bunny.  Every year.

Dedicated. Not obsessed. Yeah. That.

I work out almost every day of the week.  Because I have goals.  That I want to achieve.  I work hard at it. Lately I don't like the term obsessed .. but more like dedicated.  Makes me feel better about the hours of my life I have wasted at the gym.  Is it a waste if you love it?  Lately I've struggled with the want/need/obsession/comfort exercise brings me.  If I'm having a hard day.. if I'm struggling .. if I'm angry .. if I'm depressed ...  the first place I look for peace is the gym. I've gone to the gym at 10 or 11pm before... mostly because it's a guaranteed fix.  I've never walked out of the gym feeling worse than when I walked in.  

How can that be bad?  All things in moderation I suppose.  I do have problems with moderation in my life.  Go hard or go home.  And if you get home .. go hard some more.  

So this is the love/hate relationship I have with exercise ...

Here's the hate ... 

And here's the love ...

I see it as a win.  For as much time as I dedicate to it ... it's about time that work shows off.  

Now the key is maintaining ... cause it's freaking hard.  

Like.  Freaking.  Hard.  

and p.s. I'm thinking about becoming a personal trainer.  love it .. work at it .. may as well make money ... just thinking .. in black and white .. 

That was me thinking.  Out loud.  I know.  Now my head hurts.  Personal trainers don't have to be smart .. right??

Before and after's ...

Hayley.  

Not me.

Before illness ...

And after ...

I guess it's a great weight loss program.  Only takes about three weeks of not eating.  Pretty sure though, if you chatted with Hayley .. she wouldn't recommend the process.

BUT she isn't complaining about having to go back down a couple of sizes in clothes.  

So .. there's this tire ..

And then .. there was like this curb .. and then I looked down for 1/2 a millisecond .. and then that curb it ran RIGHT into my tire.

Seriously.  Rude.

I pulled over to assess the damage.

I guess it's not that bad.

I had to peel this rubber that was hanging off of the tire.

And trim up another piece so it looked better.

The rim doesn't look awesome.

BUT the tire isn't leaking.

AND the car pulls a little to the right now.

Whoopsie...

The beach in March doesn't suck ..

Here's a novel idea Alana.  How about you start blogging again?  Oh yeah, brain.  Great idea.  But what should I blog about?  Oh .. idk idiot .. how about the trip you just made to the beach ... with girls that make you laugh?

Yeah.  That is a fabulous idea Alana.  Where do you come up with these awesome ideas?  Idk .. like in my head.

So after Hayley's dramatic ordeal, I left the crazy house for a long weekend in North Carolina with three pretty cool .. funny .. gorgeous girls.

Tina lives on the beach.  Like her house is across the street from the beach.  Do you understand what I am saying?  Like you walk ... WALK to the beach.  Yes.  Just like that.  Every single day she can do this.  If she wanted.  And who wouldn't want to?

We were gathering for the weekend to celebrate Melissa and Alycia's bdays (a day apart) ... I flew into North Carolina and Alycia and Melissa drove down from northern VA.

I got in first ... like I like.  Cause being first means you're #1.  It works in my head like that.

So Tina and I hung out on the beach for a few hours in anticipation for the rest of the group to get there.  Have to say it was the funniest thing ever.  Basically had the beach to ourselves.  Basically tried to get THE perfect picture.  Basically it took 242 snaps to get maybe 4 good ones. Not sure why it was so hysterical .. but .. we couldn't stop laughing... or rolling on the towel.  That's when you know you've got a great friend .. and you are connected.  When laughs come easily ... when no words are needed ... when you feel more than words can express.

The other two arrived and the celebration began.  It was the break I needed.  It was all about girl bonding .. and honestly there's nothing like it.  And this group is tight.  It's a kind of unconditional love and trust that no one will ever be able to penetrate.  This weekend, memories were made.  Some quite unsharable (I made up that word .. sorry autocorrect .. suck it) but most definitely unforgettable.  We share the good, the bad, the ugly, the hilarious, the sarcastic, the nasty and beautiful truths ... Yes, pass it around .. cause it's getting shared.  Never to leave the circle.  And I like it that way.

Three days of goodness.  Three days of beach.  Three days of pure girl time.  Three days is just not enough ...

 (random shot .. but preserves a memory ... captured in time)

Our last night together was spent doing a lot of walking.  Let's not drive.  Let's walk.  It was such a great idea .. until it wasn't great anymore.  There was an almost near death experience near a ditch.  Hurry up Alycia .. why can't you walk as fast as we are?  Oh yeah .. that's right.  Why are we all on the bathroom floor ... helping the naked girl out?  Where'd the ball go?  I can't look.  Melissa refuses.  Someone might be crying.  Tina's got this.  Took one.  For the team.  Melissa and Alana laughing .. making comments while Tina and Alycia listen intently to the boy trying to tell a touching story.  Where's a cab?  Where's my drink?  Is this REALLY St Paddy's day?  Someone call the babysitter to come get us.  Why is the store closed?  Why can't I have a damn shamrock shake?  Frozen waffles and 7 layer bean dip will have to do.  Let's take a club pic.  But move away from the blinds.  And the light switch.  Um Tina - that couple wants to take our pic.  Melissa has 85 degrees.  Can someone google a place?  Do we need an appointment?  No just walk in.  Stink eye.

Thank you girls.  Till next time.  I can't wait ...