Random text of the week ..

This week's text goes to ... my girl.

She sometimes tests my patience to the max.

Sometimes it's unintentional.

And sometimes ... it's not.

This conversation has both examples ...

me "when you come home tonight - come in through the FRONT door. And lock behind you. U came in through the garage last night and left it wide open with the lights on. I had my purse in the car complete with wallet and keys. Imagine my car being gone this morning!"

H "Opps... I'm really sorry I didn't know I forgot to shit it. I'll come through the front. I got this awesome ring from love culture"

me "Hey I got a ring from Forever 21 tonight too .. ull love it. And yes you forgot to shit it.

H "I forgot to shit it?? Lol"

"Haha you mean shut lol"

"My ring is like a full finger ring but it's way cool looking"

me "no YOU said that in ur first text"

"cool - we can compare. Sure urs fits me"

H "hahahahahaha I didn't even realize I said that. Oh it's adjustable it will fit you"

me "cool beans .. cause ull b sharing"

H "Alrighty. I know. You stole my other ring"

me "Oh yeah. I did. But don't touch MY shit"

H "haha. ok. that's just your favorite word huh?"

me "Better than f*&% right?"

"Yes .. SHIT is the word of the night ...

"But don't you say it cause ull get in trouble"

H "Nice mom. lol. ok. What would you say if I brought home a parrot that could talk?"

me "I'd kill you.

"Unfortunately the bird would tell on me"

H "Ha. Ha. Ha. Cause we are bringing one home. Some lady on craigslist is giving it away because she said he talks too much and whistles constantly. He comes with a cage and all the food and bedding and stuff. He is in the back of Jacob's truck.. His name is Booger because he is all green. Mom you're gonna love him!! He's so cute and he will sit on your shoulder. He says soooo many words it's insane!"

"You're really going to love him!!!! It's so cool he even whistles and says "come here doggie" How cool is that?? And the best thing is that he was FREE!!"

me "You are dead. Seriously. I will kill you. Don't come home."

"Don't bring it home Hayley. I'm NOT kidding"

H "No. Mom he doesn't even stink. At all. And he is so sweet you'll love him. He always talks it's so funny. Don't be mad. I know you will LOVE him! She said I couldn't take him back"

H "hahahahahahahahahahahahaha ... GOTCHA!!!"

me "I hate you."

"like a lot"

H "I know. But at least I don't have a bird"

me "Ok. I love you then"

H "ha! I love you too mom"