I "found" it...

came home the other day ... Eli greeted me at the car - excited to show me his homemade knife

Eli is skilled.


Truly.


Everyone should have an Eli.


He comes with benefits.


For example .. when I clean out his pockets...


He "finds" a lot of things. His explanation of where he finds these items is funny. Even funnier that he completely expects me to buy into what's falling from his mouth.


A few months ago I came across a Walmart gift card. $10.



me "so clepto .. where'd you get the card?"
Eli "what's a clepto? I found it in my pocket."
me "you found it IN your pocket? it just suddenly appeared? that's like .. magic."
Eli "uh. YES. what mom? it was just there. seriously." then he rolls his eyes .. like I'm the retard.


Last month ... it was two season passes to the Denver museum of Nature and Science.


me "Eli .. where'd you score these?"
Eli "yeah, I found those in the street"
me "in the street?"
Eli "moooom .. on the way home from the bus. they were just laying there. what are they? do they have money on them?"
me "you're hopeless"


Last week ... it was a pizza hut gift card. $20


me "Eli, you're gonna go to jail this time. who'd you steal this from?"
Eli "steal? I would never do that mom. It was on the ground at school. Just laying there. No one claimed it. So it's mine"
me "are you sure you asked around to find out who the owner was? wouldn't you be sad if you lost that?"
Eli "I wouldn't be sad. Cause I'd never be dumb enough to lose it. If I give you that gift card, will you give me $20?"


Jacob and Hayley were there listening and Hayley commented on how he must be the luckiest kid on the planet. Then Jacob said when Eli gets into high school he's gonna come home with a car and say
"what? I just found it in the parking lot. no one claimed it or anything"


Yesterday I found a key.


Eli "I found it in the yard"


If anyone is missing a key .. you might want to change the locks. Just sayin ....
(it probably belongs to the cop that just moved in two weeks ago. my luck.)