My favorite session YET

So I've had a few suggestions for how I should behave while in my marriage counseling sessions. One being to try answer a question with a question. Each time. Do you even know how much talent takes? A lot. But I figured I'd try it on for size.

It fit pretty well.

In fact ... SO FREAKING PROUD OF MYSELF ... I wasted ... ready.... 35 entire minutes with a question, question, answer game. Not entirely sure she knew we were playing a game. But that matters not. I had fun. That's what's important right?

Here's a sample of how it went ...

her "how are you guys today?"

me "do you text?"

her "no, the buttons on my phone don't light up like yours so it makes it difficult to text"

me "oh yeah .. you need a phone like mine. It's super easy to text. In fact, it lights up really well when you're driving at night"

as I proceeded to show her what texting looked like on my phone. It was here that I had a conversation with Robin via text about Butterball turkey's and what to inject and not inject into them. I say butter ... but now I'm getting distracted.

her "how was your week?"

me "do you have kids?"

her "I do .. two boys ages 15 and 25. Of which both live with me"

ENTER my VERY favorite part of the ENTIRE session ...

me "Really? Your 25 year old lives at home with you still? Now, do you really think that's healthy?" (yeah, I know. I said "healthy".)

This is where she spends a few minutes discussing the differences in American culture verses European culture. (side note .. she's euro)

her "Okay ..."

me "well, if he lives there, can I move in too?"

her "no. you can't."

me "oh. well, then ... can I text you?"

her "I don't text remember?"

me "oh"

Now Sean is going to break his silence "can we start this session already?"

her "tell me about your week"

I notice a stack of board games on the shelf. Perfect.

me "can we play the 'Marriage Game'?"

her "no"

me "how about the 'Divorce Game'?" (side note .. WTH??)

She started writing something on her paper.

me "are those notes you're taking? can you not remember what we talk about? my therapist doesn't need notes. she remembers every single detail about me. what do those notes say?"

She hands me the clipboard. There's some typed basic questions on there.

me "this asks 'do you make eye contact'.. do I?"

her "those are really for the primary patient. And that's not you."

me "oh."

We had about a 25 minute productive session after that, I'd say. Probably because I was feeling like I was the one in control. I am convinced I could be a therapist. I'd make a pretty damn good one too. Mostly cause we'd all play board games. And I'd make world peace.

She ended the session by saying she's really glad I'm not her last patient of the day. Not sure how to take it but I'm gonna assume that's because she likes me.

I asked her at this point if we could be friends. She said "no".

Bummer. Because I can tell this is the start of a beautiful relationship ...