So I was thinking about my second home. Uh-huh .. that would be the gym. Shout out to 24 Hour Fitness. One of my favorite places to be.
Do you know what's in there? If not .. you should. A spin room ... a group room ... a basketball court ... a training area ... ellipticals and treadmills ... weight room equipment (duh) ... a pool ... a sauna ... a steam room ... and ...
LOTS OF PEOPLE.
Do you know how entertaining people at the gym can be?
I'm telling you .. it's a perk. Worth every monthly penny you spend for the membership.
Starting with the locker room. Sometimes I loose track of time while making my observations in that room. Management needs to spend more time in there too. If they did .. they would realize that baskets of razors - necessary. That's all I have to say about that.
They did recently renovate the locker room. It is nicer. And now there are tv's in the corners. I think that's to provide you a place to focus your eyes on (sometimes it works .. ever seen the infomercial for Pajamajeans?). Otherwise .. it's just awkward. I mean - there's tons of nakedness around you. I want to look ... and then force myself not to .. and then it happens anyway ... yup, I look. Then I wished I didn't.
Locker room highlights ...
*the anorexic ass
*the hair in the drain in the shower
*the show-off who likes to dry her hair topless
*the bending over naked (not. cool. )
*the close talker ... who's close talking naked
*the naked weigh-in
*the towel on head and not towel around body wearer
Now in the gym itself. It's the best people watching atmosphere EVER ...
Weight room highlights ...
*the machine leaner
*the poser in the mirror guy
*the just sports bra wearer
*the jeans wearer
*the pajama wearer
*the stuck in the 80's guy
*the loud gum chewer
*the heavy breather
*the silent stalker
*the steroid guy
*the anorexic who goes to back to back classes in a scarf
And of course, the best pick-up lines ...
*so ... do you AND your husband have a membership here?
*hey .. are you a professional cheerleader?
*did I see you this weekend running the rock n roll marathon in Vegas?
*so ... what are you doing this weekend.. hanging with your husband?
*why are you even working out? I mean .. you're already perfect.
*you come in here all the time. not that I notice. because it's not like I'm stalking you. I mean ... you just come here a lot.
*wanna have lunch sometime .. you know .. so we can talk about how I'm climbing Mount Everest in two months?
The gym .. a fascinating place. I no longer run on my treadmill in the basement. Ever. If I have to run on a treadmill ... it's definitely on a treadmill at the gym. I don't even need my Ipod. My eyes and ears are busy. It's like Chuck E Cheese for my adult senses.
Join me ... I can even get you a free pass.... and then we can point and laugh together ...
4 comments:
haha!! this almost motivates me to go to the gym, but then I would be one of those that you laughed at-- ha ha, just sitting here trying to figure out what category I would fit in..... the need a razor group for sure!!!!
Ha! I think it's funny when I take my kids to the rec center pool, and there are naked old ladies in the locker room. I want to say, "Of COURSE my little kids are staring at your old naked butt. If you don't want them to, then don't walk around naked..." Good times.
And I love the pick up lines, sounds like you have a few admirers! Not that I'm surprised, you are one hot mama.
Priceless pick up lines...total entertainment and I didn't even have to go to the gym!
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