On Eli turning 9 ...

May 20 2011

Dear Eli,

I like you. A lot. Actually you hold a special little place in my heart. Everyone else only sees the little demon .. the tough kid ... the rough boy. I look at you and see your sensitive side. Again .. because you only show me. You are the only child left that will lay in the bed and snuggle with me. You actually like to be with me. You still OFFER to give me a kiss. Hugs are common... and still natural. Thank you for staying my baby for a little bit longer.

You don't like school. You do like recess. You don't like sitting still. You do like being outside. You do like steak. You don't like enchiladas. You do like hockey. You do not like baseball ("please please mom do NOT EVER put me in a boring sport like baseball"). You do like skinny jeans (that doesn't mean I like you liking them). You don't like long sleeve shirts. You do like the color pink (and I like that you like pink). You don't like ankle socks. You do like your brother. You don't like your sister. You don't like toys anymore. You do like air soft guns. You don't like bikes. You do like skateboards. You do not like to write. You do like to text.

I like that I know your like's ... and you're dislike's. Someday I may not know all those details of your life .. but for now, I do. And for now, I love that.

Stay true to yourself Eli. Stay like you are now... strong, confident, daring, sensitive yet rough. I love every inch of you. I love every year you've been my son. I look forward to making many more memories with you kiddo.

Happy #9. Don't grow too fast. And don't forget how to kiss me.

Love,

mom

Eli chose to take his friends to the skate park for his bday this year. He wanted a big cookie from the mall again (thank you son ..). All he wanted was a "bowl action sniper rifle" air soft gun. "you mean BOLT ACTION Eli?" "yeah .. that's what I said ... BOWL ACTION". Uncle Josh hooked him up with that and he was BEYOND thrilled.

It was a pretty simple birthday.

I loved that after he got the gun and was on the ground looking through the scope pretending to cause mass destruction ... he would randomly come over and kiss my forehead and say "I love it mom" ... THAT was priceless.

About a day after his birthday I got a call from the school. One of Eli's friends was found dead in his house. I was devastated. Even more devastated was how he died (here). They were not telling the children at school .. letting parents decide how to break the news. I agonized over how to tell Eli about his friend. No clue how he would react .. I sat him down and talked to him later that night. The first thing he said was "wow mom .. that's really sad. Mostly because Liam was one of those happy kids. You know .. like he's always smiling when there's nothing really to smile about". I loved that that's how he remembered his friend. Then his next comment was "yeah .. and something else about Liam. When everyone else thought I was a bully .. Liam never did. He always just liked me no matter what". Kids have an amazing sense of character.

This was a stark reminder that life can be short. I hugged Eli a little tighter that night. After he went to bed that night I sat in his room and watched him sleep. And said a silent prayer of gratitude for my little boy. Life is precious.

This May ... this birthday .... I'm a little extra grateful to be Eli's mom.