Playing doctor .. at home

Home.  Sweet.  Home.

Phone rings "Hi.  This is the nurse.  I'm coming to your house tonight to show you how to take care of Hayley's pic line ... how to hook her up to the TPN and flush it .. basically how to take care of it"

Yeah.  Sure.  Exhale.  Sure.

The doorbell rings.  That was quick.  But it was a delivery.  Of boxes of stuff.  Like rubber gloves.  Needles.  Syringes full of different stuff.  And wires.  And a pump.  And a bag.  And another box full of the TPN.  Bags of white stuff.  That goes in her veins.  IN HER VEINS.  That I will have to put in them.  ME.  ME?!

Panic sets in.  I sat on the floor.  And then crawled up to my bed.  And then crawled under the covers.  And then picked up my phone.  Because when there is a crisis ... who do you call first?  That's right.  Mama.  I heard her voice .. and started crying.  "please mom.  I need you.  please.  I CAN NOT DO THIS.  I CAN NOT".  My mom ... soothing .. without missing a beat says she's on her way over with Lauren, my sister in law.  My mama saves the day.  I still cry.  Harder.

I think it's like all the stress of the past two weeks hit me ... and it was overwhelming.  But mom was coming.  And I was going to be okay.

Mom came.  Nurse came.  Taught my mom and Lauren (and Hayley by default) how to flush .. hook up .. unhook .. flush .. clean ... etc.  I stayed in my room.  With the door shut.  They learned.  Even my superwoman mom said she got a little sweaty.  Bless her heart.

She was set for the night.  Dragging her bag in a backpack wherever she went.  She said it was annoying.  Really?  I believe that.

The next morning.  "hey mom .. I gotta unhook this .. and flush .. but I need help .. can you at least read the instructions so I can follow as you read?"

Yeah.  Sure Hayley.  We got this.  Team work.  I took her instructions.  And stood down the hall.  And yelled the instructions to her.


"You are so retarded mom"  

Yeah.  But I'm not passed out on the floor.

"Mom .. I can do this .. but really ... can you just like come in the room for support.  You don't have to look or anything.  I just want you in here with me.  I'm a little nervous."

Uh.  Hmmm ...

So I laid in the hall with my feet sticking in the room.  She laughs.  I wiggled them every once in awhile for support.  It worked.

 Mom helped with the set up again that next night. (In my room again but I hear Hayley yell "hey Eli .. get in here.  I need you to watch.  In case mom is in a coma on the floor and I've got a migraine and can't do this")

But the next morning I walked in her room to the bag half full.  And it kind of hooked up and kind of not.  A mess.  She got frustrated in the middle of the night and tried to take it off on her own.

This was going to be an interesting road.

It is now March 19th and we finally got the order to remove it.  DONE!!  After 13 days of being fed from a tube .. she's finally FREE!!  The month long ordeal is behind us.  FINALLY!!

I bought cupcakes ... brought them home.  For a "coming out" celebration.  Get it?  Hayley didn't.  But I thought it was damn funny ...