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On Hayley's actual birthday June 19th  ...

A summer evening.  We sat outside in a parking lot as I explained to her the gifts I was giving her.

#1 was the book "Oh The Places You'll Go"  by Dr. Seuss

#2 were letters.  Bundled.  I have written Hayley a letter every year since she was 5 years old.  Sealed.  Mailed to her.  Postmarked with the date and the place we lived.  They were really just a recap of that past year.  Funny things she had done.  Thoughts I had about her as she grew.  Personality traits she was possessing as the years passed.  My hopes and dreams for her future ...

They have been sealed.  Obviously for years.  So I had no idea the content of them either.  I remember writing them but I couldn't remember every detail in the letter.

She opened her gift. And cried.  We sat together .. and read these letters.  Laughed.  Giggled.  Teary eyed at times.

I always knew when she moved out of the house .. I was going to give them to her.  I never guessed that time would be so soon.  In a blink.  I was sitting in a place in my life I never dreamed would come so soon.  Watching this grown child that I raised .. reading these letters.  Opening them ... one at a time.  Unfolding the pieces of paper.  Reliving memories ... that just didn't seem like a lifetime ago.  Some things she remembered.  Others she didn't.  Some things I didn't even remember.  The experience was so surreal to me.

As she opened and read the last one ... there was a moment of silence after the last "love, mom" .. and she then looked up at me and said these profound words ..

"I want more mom"

Me too, Hayley.  Me too.

It was a reminder that this is just a new chapter in Hayley's book of life she is starting.  One has closed ... but the book is not finished.  I will still be there.  Just not in the same role.  I have a different role now.  I'm not real sure what that role looks like yet .. but what I do know is that this girl is and will always be apart of my very soul.  THAT will never change.

So happy birthday Hayley bug ...

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...


And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)"

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!