For example. Two days after my awesome family birthday party ... my mom ... Eli and I got so so so sick. Like flu ... puke ... we might die kind of sick. Like can't move .. can't remember when I've been that ill .. kind of sick.
Personally ... I think it was food poisoning. Food poisoning .. not from MY food ... but from the psycho ex boyfriend Guy. I think we were the only ones that ate the pie that he brought. I think he would be psycho enough to want to poison us. That's my out-loud Dateline interview thoughts.
So yeah ... me and my boy spent two miserable days in my bed. Looking at each other like ... what if we die? We couldn't actually speak those words .. but we both knew what we were thinking. At one point I was moaning and Eli reaches over with everything he has and rubs my head. It was so sweet ... and so sad. I was so desperate and weak I actually had to ask my awesome neighbor Jerrie for some Gatorade. *newsflash .. I don't ask for help. Ever. She probably saved my life. Not to be dramatic or anything.
Eli on his death bed ...
Me a week later still trying to recover and not able to go to the gym ...
Also no one really cares that I get my hair done. Actually ... everyone should care ... because I have to do maintenance to keep from looking like white trash. Dark roots aren't attractive on anyone.
Step One ...
Ta-da! No more roots. I tell my hair dresser she's my favorite chemist. Next to Walter White.
No one cares that I have new Nike pants ...or that I feel like Lebron when I hold a basketball ...
OR .. that I had "cupping" done and looked like someone had beat me with a stick. Or that I have back love handles in my selfie's.
Does anyone care that I take naps when my kids are in school and wake up rocking the 80's side ponytail?
BUT EVERYONE CARES that I have the cutest niece and nephew ... and that when I hold them both at the same time I become a dwarf.
My boys said I have too many selfies on my phone. And that also I don't know how to take selfies.
Put my phone down ... and get back to your instagram ... and spend hours picking out just the right filters ... fools.
2 comments:
I didn't even think about that pie he brought!!! Good thing it was BANAANA and that I hate anything banana. Ew, I'm so glad you guys didn't die.
And for the record, I adore all your selfies. :)
Oh listen, people who read blogs care about the must seemingly mundane things. And also, you really do rock the 80s side ponytail. It's cute. Happy mother's day, by the way
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