Vy, Stacey and I did a photo shoot with a guy from the gym who wanted to use the photos to promote his gun business.
Who I am when I look back at these? Was I questioning life? Was I needing attention? Was I just completely stupid? One, I hate snow. Two, I hate guns even more. Again, not even something I want to journal or blog but I feel like everything I have gone through in my life, is note worthy. It might not be a good note. But noteworthy just the same. Because whatever I was doing in my life at that point, was exactly what I wanted to be doing.
I mean, I wouldn't make the same choices today. Let's be clear.
Something that did happen in this month, is something I'm proud of. I discovered and made friends with someone outside my "norm". Vanessa. Expanding and enhancing our friend group. Again, looking into the future I didn't realize who would stay true friends and who would go by the wayside. Ever evolving life. Vanessa, is a keeper. She's held strong through thick and thin over the past 5 years and I am ever grateful for her friendship. Not only did she come into my life, but so did her mom.
Around this time is when the boys really picked up skateboarding. That's something that hasn't changed. It's Eli's life. His passion. The reason he wakes up in the morning. He's so stinkin' good at it too. I absolutely loved that him and Jackson shared the love. They skated together ALL the time. Both teaching each other tricks. I could sit at that skatepark in the grass and watch them for hours.
As skateboarding became Eli's passion, hockey took the backseat. And just like that, hockey disappeared. He no longer had any interest. To be honest, it broke my heart just a little. He was just so good. He was seamless on the skates, he took risks, he wanted to be front and center, he took shots and made them, he was aggressive. I believed in him and this sport so much that I went ahead and forced it. Made him play, as he dreaded practice every week and slowly just resented all the games. In typical Eli fashion, as we pulled up to one of his last games he said to me "I hate this game and I'm not going to play it". Well, yeah ya are son, we are here so get your gear on. Which then had me pulling and tugging in the parking lot looking like that crazy person grunting and loud whispering. I felt it such a great victory when he skated away to the rink fully dressed. I won.
He quickly showed me I didn't win. Coach put him out there and he didn't move. HE DID NOT MOVE. The middle of the rink. The coach yelling, the parents looking confused and me looking around like uhhh who's child is THAT? He was pulled off. And basically that was that. The end of his little hockey career. Once he made his point, once I humbly bowed out ... he finished up the season. Make no mistake though, I kept every single last one of those jersey's he wore.
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