and a bit on parenting...

I think most people pretty much know how to parent after a few years of having kids. I mean, maybe it doesn't come naturally at first but by kid #3 you've got the hang of it.

And that's most people. Not me. One would think that by the time the OLDEST is almost 16 and the YOUNGEST is almost 8 .. I'd have my act together. Granted, I did start young so Hayley naturally should turn out to be the worst out of the three. I wish upon the brightest star that at least ONE out of the THREE will grow into adulthood .. normal.

That's not likely to happen with a parent like me. I figure that I parent like I'm 12 years old. Not something I'm proud of .. neither is it something that I'm conscience of. Hayley is slightly taking the lead on maturity over me. The other day as I was walking up the stairs like a 'ra-tard' she says .. "mom, seriously .. can you just act normal for a little while".

I sing to her boyfriend around the house while wearing my (well, Eli's) baseball cap on backwards. Sometimes we have dessert for dinner. Occasionally (on occasionally every night) we stay up as late as we can on school nights because .. well, just because. Jackson usually lands in his bed at night .. Eli in mine, his own bed or the floor on any given night. I was going to say Hayley is pretty stationary in her bed every night ... um, unless she's on my floor too. I answer every "GUESS WHAT??" question my children have with "CHICKEN BUTT". I drive with the stereo up too loud in the car and we all sing along ("I want your ugly .. I want your disease"). I've even been known to get super frustrated with homework and do it for my kids. I think it's the ADD in me that doesn't allow me to spend loads of time on boring things .. like homework and reading. We do read. But sometimes that even frustrates me waiting for Eli to struggle through it. So we take turns with pages .. his turn, my turn ..

Let's take two weeks ago. Hayley came home announcing that she had CCAPS (you know.. those *unimportant* school tests that they do once a year to see how much funding they get and to rank the school). Well .. I was going to take this business into my own hands. Who needs to take those stupid tests anyway? (apparently everyone) I told her to stay home .. no need to take those .. let's do the school a favor .. really - her scores will just bring the total's for the school down. Great idea. So we party during those mornings but like a good mother, I did make her go to her regular classes in the afternoon.

Um .. fast forward another week. Phone rings "Mrs. Wester .. I have your daughter Hayley in our office. Were you aware that she did not take her ccap tests last week??" (she says it in this .. Hayley-is-about-to-get-in-trouble-voice) Me "umm, so what does that mean exactly?" (avoiding the question) "It means she either has to make them up or you have to come to the school and sign the waiver so she can get out of the office and back to class". oh. opps. I tried to explain to them that I didn't make her because I was only trying to help them (as she looks at me like I've got three heads ... and didn't say anything back to that). The waiver is signed (do you think being a mormon counts as a religious exemption .. I mean .. we're known as being weird so I should use it when I can).

Sometimes being a mom stumps me. Like I truly feel stupid. Totally like an idiot. The other day Eli bursts into the house screaming and yelling at how his brother is so mean and he did blah blah blah (I really couldn't understand what he was saying). He proceeds to do what he does ... destroy whatever is in his path .. pillows go everywhere ... slamming doors .. things are falling and smashing. I stand in the kitchen. I could yell .. what do I do? One of those "I'm stumped" moments. So I say to anyone in the kitchen listening .. "look at this drink that was wasted sitting on the counter" .. I throw it away. Jacob (Hayley's boyfriend) starts laughing. What's funny? "well, it's just that you are concerned about that drink but not about the horrible sounds coming from upstairs.". Hmmmm ... interesting.

I'm just not there. Perhaps it's laziness. Perhaps immaturity. Perhaps someone should come in and take over. I do get their teeth brushed and their clothes are usually clean. Hey, and they are happy kids. That's gotta count for SOMETHING....

I gotta go ... someone's jumping off the couch and I need to .......... join them.