First day of school

I usually don't blog about this event. Mostly because it's not a huge deal. In fact, for the past three years there really wasn't ever a 'first day of school'. Year round meant you had two weeks off before you started the next grade.

But this year was a little tender for me.

Mostly because of Jackson.

Their elementary school went to traditional calendar this year. They actually had an entire summer off. Not just the two week tease. Traditional also meant that they didn't have the same kids in the same class with them. They've spent the past three years on the same track which means they basically had the same kids in their class year after year .. except for the ones that moved in or out.

I went to orientation with the boys yesterday. Eli was comfortable. A couple of boys were in his class that he knows. He just wanted to throw his supplies in his desk and move on. Which was about how it happened. Jackson, however was super cautious even walking into the class. He sits down and looks around. There's only one boy he recognizes and he was on his basketball team last year. All his best friend's weren't there.

It took everything in me not to run over .. pick him up .. and demand he be placed in the classroom with at least ONE of his five best friends. I was overcome with emotion for him. He was sad. But brave. I only knew the heartbreak he was having because he's my kid. His exterior was looking tough .. but I could see it in his eyes. He sat like he was supposed to. Listened to the teacher like he was supposed to. Wrote his name on his notebooks like he was supposed to. A rule follower he is.

But my baby he will forever be. And I hate for this kid to be sad ...

Last night he was in a serious funk. Depressed. Moped around with a long face. Kept saying he just wasn't ready to go back to school.

On the flip side .. I've got Eli .. running around the house freaking mad. "I'm NOT GOING TO STUPID SCHOOL TOMORROW". For some odd reason it's super hard to feel bad for him when he's ranting like that. To distract the nonsense .. I asked him if he'd rather me take him to school or ride the bus. "I DON'T KNOW CAUSE I'M NOT GOING TO THAT PLACE TOMORROW". Hmmm ... that just made me want to pick up that thick little body of his and take him right to the front door of school to stay all night so he could just walk in the next morning.

So .. fast forward to this morning ...

Got lunches made. Jackson hung around the kitchen all worried about his snack. "Just make sure I've got plain crackers mom. Just plain. Like saltines - plain. Make sure okay?" (he doesn't normally eat 'plain' crackers so I found this odd). "I don't get it Jackson .. why?"

"because weren't you listening yesterday mom. my teacher said ONLY healthy snacks. and I don't like fruit". Again .. a rule follower. I gave him goldfish instead and he was still seriously concerned that she wouldn't consider that "healthy".

Eli INSISTED on riding the bus to school. Jackson was still feeling blue and wanted me to take him.

Such a difference between my two boys.

First day of school for Hayley was a breeze (sort of). She was excited. Being a big Junior and all meant not really a whole lot of anxiety. Except when the text came in today.

"What are you doing today? I have asked everyone that I know what lunch they have and everyone has b!! even Jacob.. Mom I don't have lunch with anyone and I will be all alone:("

me ..

"Sorry kiddo. Wish I could help with that."

She seriously expected me to go eat lunch with her. My first day of freedom. As bad as I felt for her (well, not THAT bad) .. I certainly wasn't going to do that. Uh. No.

But as for ME and MY experience .. no .. I didn't have ANY problems today adjusting. No .. not one.