Clyde "Sorry you are sick but good excuse not to go to church. How do you get the bull shit
flu?"
me "Okay - that's funny... but you get it by being around too much bull-shit. That's how.."
Clyde "Hope you guys feel better.
But...
Shami says you could lose a few pounds fatty
....
In your bra"
me "Ha - since I've been in the bed for two days it feels like I've gotten fat. For sure .."
Clyde "Muscles getting soft. Feels like .... Afraid you'll have to start shopping at Lerner +size boutique"
me "Seriously. I think I just developed larger lover handles this weekend"
Clyde "Oh I'm sorry I mean not going to be able to shop at Justice anymore. They don't have the 80's love handle mom jeans."
me "And those are clearly my favs!! You're scaring me with your vast knowledge of
women's clothing stores"
Clyde "Shami is sitting next to me although I am transgender"
me "I thought it was more metrosexual"
Clyde "Nope growing my boobs now. Saving money for my tuck and roll procedure"
me "Make sure you show them where to put the nipples back on. Sucks when they
screw that up"
Clyde "Yeah sent a pic of you and said higher please"
me "Thanks ... glad I could be of good use. But I told Shami those were only for
personal use."
Clyde "This is personal. She wants me to be perfect. She is shorter than me so I might put them a little lower so she doesn't strain her neck"
me "That'll be helpful when you get engorged"
HAVE A FAN~TABULOUS WEEK YA'LL!!
3 comments:
It must be pretty exciting to be you :) You crack me up.
I want to meet these two characters. They are right up your ally!!
ha ha ha, how did i miss this one, thanks for the laugh, i'm in my oh my goodness why did i want to homeschool and be around these kids 24/7 slump!!!!
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