Gonna complain. This might get wordy.
The mom stress is building. And building. And building.
I might explode. I feel it coming.
And I know it's like the true blue feeling ... not just because Aunt Flo is coming to town .. it's real because it's not even close to 'that' time.
I have three children. Feeling pretty much unappreciated. It might be because they are spoiled. Rotten. They've got everything they want. As a mom ... I've felt like if I've got good kids and they are doing well in school .. at home ... in society ... that they should be rewarded. WORD OF WARNING ... NOT a good idea. There aren't many things that any of my children can think of that they want for Christmas. Why? Yeah, because they have it all.
I'm so frustrated.
Has anyone been over to my house lately? Have you looked in my pantry?
There's a peak.
Some things include ..
10 boxes of cereal (variety .. something for everyone)
Little Debbie snack cakes
4 bags of chips (variety .. depending on your taste)
5 different kinds of crackers (again ...)
mac and cheese (Velveeta - only the best, of course)
I know ... not sure how we don't weigh 300 lbs each.
So to top that off .. there's a menu on my fridge of our weekly meals. If you wanna know what's for dinner - check the fridge. Home cooked meals about 5-6 days a week.
WITH ALL THAT SAID ..
Did you know that "THERE'S NOTHING TO EAT IN THE PANTRY MOM!"
One day last week ... boys came in from school and asked the same question they always ask when they walk in "what's for dinner mom?"
me "well, tonight I don't feel like cooking so it's whatever you can find"
You would have thought the world was seriously coming to an end. I mean, Jackson actually fell on the floor. Eli started wailing. Hayley walks in and asks what the heck is going on.
me "I'm going to tell you but PLEASE don't join them"
I can't even complete my sentence "Tonight I'm not going to cook din..."
"NO WAY - MOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T find ANYTHING in the pantry... what am I supposed to do??? Starve??"
I cook ...I clean ... I make appointments... I go to school to bring Hayley this.. or that ... I volunteer at the boys school ... I pick up .. I take ... I schedule ... I bandage wounds ... I run errands ... I do laundry ... I host 10 extra 'friends' on a daily basis .. (maybe this one's for my own ego - I love when other-more-grateful children come over and look in the pantry and their eyes get big and they say things like "wow - look. at. all. this. food." .. then I reward them for such a gracious comment. Another thought .. do my children not realize why ALL their friends come over HERE to hang? Besides the fact that I'm such a cool mom - duh)
Lately .. I'm just tired of doing it ALL. I work hard at doing it all (as I am sure every other mother out there does) ... but this week, I'm just simply tired of it. Tired of doing it ALL ... ALL by myself. Not that I shouldn't ... and we are all made to think that we should be grateful we stay at home .. therefore, don't really have the right to complain about it. At times working mom's have told me that they are jealous that I get to stay home. Why? Cause it's so glamorous? Probably. Don't get me wrong. Grateful, yes. Always pleasant? No.
I have to say .. at least I'm past the stage of staying up at night with a newborn, or changing diapers, wiping noses, wiping butts, cleaning up toys .. and stepping on toys. But I did my time doing that too. I'm in another stage and I like how old my kids are at this point.
BUT, what torques me is that BECAUSE they are older .. I expect a few thank yous ...and perhaps occasionally unsolicited help. Surely by this age they should know better. Nope .. pretty much, each individual child of mine's world revolves around THEM.
The straw that broke the back was last night ...
Hayley - I love you girl. But you are a teenager. And even though you THINK you know it all ... you don't. You've got a lot to learn about life ... even though you think you don't. I know you are an expert in all things .. and even though I look more stupid than you .. I'm not.
I also realize your brain is not fully developed. It's true.
BUT it doesn't keep me from getting so frustrated I want to climb on the rooftop and yell "TEENAGERS SUCK"
She approached her dad last night and told him that she read my blog (not a surprise .. and no, it wasn't a surprise that she was getting a lap top)
"dad .. yeah... um ... I don't wanna hurt mom's feelings but ... well ... um ... I read her blog .. and um .. well .. I know she meant well ... but ... um .... yeah.... I researched the lap top that she bought me for Christmas and it's ... well ... not a good one ... that one is going to break down .. and they've had tons of problems with it ... and I've researched for four months now ... and yeah .. well ... how do I tell her to take it back?"
YOU GOTTA F'IN BE KIDDING ME!!! Six hours in line ... did I mention how I was in the freezer section? OR that it took me two days to catch up on the lost sleep?
Insult to injury...
A text then comes in...
"mom ... I'm failing school... I don't deserve any gifts for Christmas... actually I just want money because I'm going to need to pay for summer school. Please take anything you got for me back to the store. Really .. I won't accept any gifts .. just money because I need to pay for those classes"
Manipulation ... at it's best.
I blew a fuse last night. A big one. Probably said some things to her that I didn't mean. Probably said some things that I did mean. She ended the night by announcing she's gonna run away. HOLD UP ... no no - I AM DOING THAT
I'll be away this weekend. By myself. My family will not have a mother. If they call begging for help .. please help me and DON'T help them.
(But feel free to text me...)
And Hayley, while I'm gone - you have TONS of time to do some more research on lap tops .. but while you are in cyberspace - go ahead and google the teenage brain. It'll fascinate you.