On flight attendants ...

So .. this was a funny story. But I didn't think it was blog worthy.

Until I went out with Shay the other night. And the more details I gave .. the funnier the story got.

Shay is TOTALLY right. I do believe it IS good blog material.

This happened on my flight out to Florida. Specifically the last flight ... from Atlanta to Jacksonville. 45 minutes short.

It goes down like this ...

I had an aisle seat.

And there was a male flight attendant.

And apparently they aren't all gay.

Which was a new discovery.

And every time this male flight attendant would pass me .. he would rub my shoulder.

I was reading.

And it would make me jump every time he did it.

Was thinking ... 'weird'

The next time he made a pass I leaned more towards the center of my section.

BUT this time he bends down to talk to me ..

"are you okay .. can I get you anything?"

I'm thinking .. first of all I'm not in first class ... but second of all - how bout a chicken strip basket with extra ketchup .. cause that 1/8 oz peanuts just ain't cuttin' it.

He winks. Returns to front of plane.

I look around me. Did NO ONE just see what happened? Why does everyone look like this is normal behavior?

Whatever. Go back to book.

A few minutes later ... he returns.

With ... A BUSINESS CARD.

For real?

It's a drive by. Gives it to me ... like that's normal. And walks away.

Again .. I look around for someone .. ANYONE ... to laugh with me. Dead pan faces. Robots.

Now it's time to study the card. Please ... join me.

Who knew I was flying on the same airplane with a member of the "Special Ops 7" team. I mean really ... who needs air marshalls when you have an under cover co-op special forces-disguised-as-a-flight-attendant on board?

Time passes ... and there are a million questions that COULD have been asked.

Such as ..

"wait .. get back here. Can you get me anything?? HELL YES ... you are prepared with your chute at a moment's notice to jump off the plane in case 'THAT CALL' comes right? Well .. for starters .. forget the chicken strips. I would like a lobster. Fresh .. from Maine. Now go"

or

"Are you KIDDING? Special Ops?? What branch do you work for? oh wait .. let's get our magnifiers out and look at that seal ... what's that? ... oh ... it's the ol' DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE logo. No specific branch? Army .. Marine? Oh ...that's right ... you work for them ALL"

"What rank are you? Oh wait .. lemme look on that card again. You are SO special (ops).. you outranked everyone and no longer need a rank. Got it... that's so cool"

"I see the DEPARTMENT of DEFENSE is really cutting back on that budget lately. Your card is printed out on Kodak paper .. from your own computer? They must trust you with super dooper special top secret missions"

a little blurry .. tried to get the Kodak seal

"Your email address? No .mil account? Just a hotmail ... oh wait ... AND a yahoo account. I forgot .. you are UNDER COVER"

Those non-gay flight attendants are the best aren't they?

It must have been my socks.

Fly the friendly skies ... they are very friendly indeed ...