July 10, 2014. My last entry. Which means it's been exactly 2 years and 8 months since I've posted to this blog.
It's not like I don't want to blog. It's more like where do I start? Then the idea of starting off where I left off ...has me wanting to slice my right arm off and eat it. Okay, that might be extreme. But it's that kind of impossible swirling in my mind that makes me put off blogging even more.
What's not fair is that the longer I put it off, the more of my kids life in the form of a journal I lose. I have a super horrible memory anyway ... and some day I want my kids to know stories from growing up that my mind simply isn't able to pull up anymore.
So, for them. My heart and souls ... I shall resume. Right here and now. Not where I left off. For one, I can hardly remember what I ate for dinner last night .. much less what has occurred over the past two plus years. And secretly, maybe there are some memories I'm glad I have forgotten.
Such is life.
What I know right now... in this very moment, is that I love my children with every fiber in this very faulty soul. I want them to always know this. In the rawest form. I want them to live a life that they are proud of. When they aren't proud of the moment they are in, I also don't want them to be ashamed of that moment. That's where the good stuff is. That's where learning and growth happen. In those painful not so note worthy moments. I want them to know I have faults as their mother. I want them to read about those faults, but know I did the best I could. All of our moments, are note worthy moments. And so .... I resume.
Well. It's March 20, 2017 and this day is just as good as any to start back on this path of recording this life of ours. Sometimes we hate it, other times we can't get enough. What's fantastic is that it is OURS. There are no rules how we choose to live what is ours. Striving to be happy, healthy, strong individuals is the goal. However it takes to get us there, is ours and ours alone. Isn't that AMAZING? Imagine the possibilities for happiness when we give up the idea of "doing it the right way". THERE ISN'T ONE! Infinite.
"you wanna race? Alright lessssss race!" ~ (quote by Jake Brackney said outside my car window to the car next to us .... that I'll never forget in my life because we laughed until we couldn't breathe. The old man was so mad about it, which made us laugh harder. Which made him more angry. And yes, Jake is one of those kiddos that have become mine that I'd do anything for)
I have good intentions. Sometimes it shows. Most of the time it doesn't. I love summer. The smell of the beach. Warm concrete. Barefeet. Bronzed skin.
Wait .. I was getting lost.
I like people. Good people. I love to laugh. I like feeling free.
I think I am normal. That's all relative though.