Thursday, July 10, 2014

ADHD. Pinterest. Slit my throat.

So it begins ...


And how I don't learn.

And how my brain tries to take on too much at one time.

Why does Pinterest suck me in?  Sucks me in ... makes me think I have super powers ... sends my brain into a euphoria ... thinking anything is possible when it comes to remodeling my house.  By myself.  I look ... I pin .... I pin more ... I get excited ... I get ideas .... I think my house should be instantly transformed into a pottery barn model.  I think I can do it all.  Pinterest tells me I can.  And it's so simple.  And the instructions.  So easy.  Who freaking writes these blogs and then pins just the right photo to suck me into a living nightmare?

It's actually fascinating how I create my own living hell.  I do it.  All on my own.  I can blame Pinterest.  But I should know better ... than to believe everything on the internet.  But I still do.  Because I get punked ... by words like "easy" "simple" "inexpensive" "do it yourself" "save money" "model home" ... and then add the pretty eye candy picture next to those words.




I'm shocked I don't have 14 children.  Because honestly there's something messed up in the part of my brain that can't remember pain.  That's GOT to be a real condition.  I'm pretty sure it is a long name .. with the word "itis" on the end of it.

All I know.  Is that once you start ... a major home project/renovation .. you can't stop.  You can't just give up.  Throw in the towel.  Say ... eh never mind.

You should look at Pinterest.  Then immediately say "nevermind"

The newest project started like this ..

I wake up one Sunday morning and thought about getting ready for church.  I walk down the stairs.  I look at the stairs.  Then I study the stairs.  Then I think ... "hmmmm ... I wonder what's under there". Then I decide to take a quick peek.  Then that curiosity leads to this ...

 Me ripping the sides of the carpet going up the stairs.  All the way up the stairs.  And down stairs.  And wondering who covers up perfectly good wood with carpet?  How tacky.

Then I realize I just tore all my carpet up.  Then I realize I need new carpet on the stairs.  Then realize I actually need new carpet in the whole entire house.  Then I realize that before I need new carpet I may as well paint the entire main level a new color.  Because on Pinterest I see all the buzz about grey walls.  Everyone loves grey walls.  Grey walls are in.  Look how pretty grey walls can be.  Look at how you can paint grey walls to look beautiful.

For one .. I may forget but I'm not stupid.  I did paint the upstairs room grey.  And it was beautiful. And it was painful.  And I am never painting walls again.

Called the painter.  How much is that?  Yeah ... I don't care.  Come paint.  Please.  Because I need new paint .. before I can get carpet.  And I really need new carpet.  Because I just tore my stairs up.

This is all happening ... because I wanted to know what was under the carpet.

Don't look under your carpet.

Step 1 complete .... Paint main living floor grey.

Before the paint (which was Benjamin Moore Revere Pewter, btw ... Pinterest told me what color to use).

After Benjamin Moore Revere Pewter ...

Yes ... it was the instant the painters walked out that I realized.  Yeah ... and ... nothing I have inside this house matches the walls I just painted.  To include the bannister.  And clearly, I had no choice but to fix that.

To be continued (and you'll wanna follow this story.  mostly because it serves as a warning to all those whom I love.  if I hate you and you're reading this ...keep reading ...follow in my footsteps, because I want you to die).


Natalie said...

I feel like I lived this with you. The finished product is so beautiful though!! You walk in and feel instant peace. I do at least... :D

Emile Buttocks said...

I can't believe you ripped the carpet up just to see what was underneath! We asked a contractor what it would cost to take the carpet off our stairs and 'cap' each step so that we just have hardwood stairs that look nice. He said $100 per step. Yeah, no. That carpet isn't going anywhere. Meanwhile, we've learned that the builders of this house were crooks and the consequences are costing us thousands and thousands and thousands.

Shay Brackney said...

Seriously, Alana....You just crack me up. Who does that? Looks under the carpet "just to see"? You keep me young my friend, just by being you! :)

Alyssa said...

So... welcome to my world, the only difference is that my house is old and falling apart anyway so I feel way more justified in tearing into it with no recovery plan. I already checked what was under the carpet of my stairs and it was exactly what I thought-- particle board. I ripped up the carpet in my downstairs to reveal the ugly dark brown linoleum that was all the rage when my house was built in the '70s. I keep ripping things up and tearing things down, but I have no funds or real plans to fix it. I hate pinterest.

Emile Buttocks said...

Hey, hey, hey, where did you go with the rest of the story???